Be Still
by erinnwhoaxo
Summary: Brittany and Santana live together in NY but Brittany's world is flipped upside down when her father dies suddenly and goes through the five stages of grief. Will Santana be able to get her through this or will it destroy her and their relationship forever?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Santana and Brittany live together in New York City. Brittany is a dance teacher along side Mike from McKinley at a local dance studio and Santana is a bartender at a pretty popular bar/restaurant in Times Square.

They'd been together since high school but were broken up for a year when long distance became too much. They never fell out of love although they often dated other people. It was never the same. The pair knew where their hearts belonged. Brittany went away to MIT for school as Santana left school and moved to NYC. After the death of their dear friend Finn Hudson, the two girls leaned on each other for support. Thus leading them to become romantic again. Brittany left MIT and enrolled in Julliard and Santana enrolled in NYU. After that first year, they moved in together and have been inseparable ever since.

Three years after moving to New York, both girls graduated from college earning their degrees; Brittany in dance and Santana in theatre. Santana's landed a few gigs on commercials and such but hasn't had her big break yet. She doesn't mind. As long as she has Brittany, the sky could be falling and she'd still be happy as can be. Brittany had been offered several jobs as a dancer on tour but it was too long away from Santana and she was afraid it would hurt their relationship. Plus, it wasn't for anyone she really liked so she wasn't really missing out. However, now, Brittany is in line for a promotion at her job now. It's for Head Choreographer at the dance studio. That would mean that she would be in charge of all the classes and would get to decide who taught what class. It's something that Brittany has wanted for as long as she's been there. She was determined to get it and work hard for it praying that would be enough.

Santana and Brittany were still very much in love. They hated being away from each other and loved waking up in each other's arms. Their sex life was very very active. They're always like rabbits going at it 24/7. One time is never enough. It always leads to more.

Santana is still her vicious self. Only being sweet to Brittany and no one else. Well, okay, she has soften a little bit but she'd still cut a bitch. Brittany will always be in her little world. That's what makes her so special, so unique. That's the part that Santana loved the most.

It was usually Brittany taking care of Santana. Not that Santana doesn't take of Brittany. She does but it's just that Brittany rarely gets upset. But what happens when tragedy strikes and Santana is left to pick up the pieces?


	2. Man Down, Woman Down

**Man Down, Woman Down**

It was a Tuesday when it happened. The day started off like every other day. Brittany and Santana woke up in the morning, ate breakfast, and went to work. It was a beautiful fall day. The leaves had changed color. It was chilly but not too cold. Brittany loved days like this. She lived for them. There was no indication that this beautiful day would have turned tragic.

Brittany got the call at 12:07pm from her mother. Her father had passed away from a massive heart attack. She was inbetween teaching dance classes. Brittany froze when the words came out of her mother's mouth. She couldn't move, couldn't think. The phone fell out of her hand and onto the hardwood floor. The world became so quiet. In Brittany's mind, it was all in slow motion. She saw Mike coming over to her slowly and she snapped back to reality.

"Brittany what happened? You're extremely pale." Mike said holding her shoulders and looking into her eyes with worry.

"My dad uh- he's dead." Brittany said in shock.

Mike wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest. She didn't cry. She could barely register his arms around her. Everything was foggy. She felt cold and disoriented. _Was this really happening? _She thought.

"Brittany go home. I've got your classes today and I can do it for the rest of the week if you need." He said as he pulled away. Brittany nodded. "Anything else I can do? Can I call someone for you?"

Santana popped into Brittany's mind. Suddenly the reality of everything set in and she began breathing heavily as a weight pressed in her chest. She could feel the tears building. She didn't want to start crying when Santana wasn't there. She needed her more than ever.

"S-Santana." Brittany said trying to hold back tears.

Mike pulled out his phone and dialed Santana's number. It rang three times before the husky Latina answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Santana. It's Mike. You need to come down here now. It's Brittany. It's bad Santana. It's really bad."

"What happened? Is Brit okay?"

"No. Her dad just died."

Santana froze. Surely she heard him right. She didn't even realize that she was putting her coat on and running out the door.

"I'm on my way. I'll be there in ten minutes max. Just keep her calm until I get there."

"I'll do by best."

"Thanks Mike."

Santana hung up and was sprinting for the subway. All she needed was to get to Brittany. She got on the train and stood by the door not even sitting down.

Mike went back to Brittany who was sitting at her desk in her office knees pulled up to her chest. Mike could tell she was trying not to lose it and quite frankly he didn't know what to do.

Santana arrived shortly after and ran up the stairs, through the door where she was met by Mike.

"Where is she?" Santana frantically asked.

"In her office."

She ran past Mike down the hall to the last door on the left. That being Brittany's office.

"Brit." Santana said as she rushed in and knelt infront of Brittany.

The second Santana said her name, Brittany lost it. She felt the tears roll down her face and she desperately reached out for the Latina.

"Santanaaaaa." Brittany cried out as she pulled Santana close to her wrapping her arms around her neck. Santana tightly wrapped one arm around her waist and the other on the back of her neck stroking her hair.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm here baby." Santana cooed in her girlfriend's ear.

Brittany continued to sob loudly while desperately trying to pull Santana closer even though she was as close as she could be. Santana pulled Brittany back and took her hands pulling her onto the floor. Santana backed up so her back was against the wall for support. She waved Brittany over and the blonde straddled her and sat in her lap immediately burying her face in the Latina's neck. Santana wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her impossibly close to her.

Santana didn't know what to say to comfort the blonde. She knew anything she said wouldn't be able to take the pain away. She just rocked her in her arms and planted kisses on her forehead while she waited her Brittany to calm down so she could take her home.

After about an hour Brittany finally calmed down a bit and spoke.

"San?" the blonde whispered.

"Yeah baby?"

"I want to go home." Brittany said shakily.

Santana nodded and kissed her on the forehead as she released her grip on Brittany. The blonde stood up shakily and waited for Santana to do the same. Once they were both on their feet, Santana looked up at Brittany and wiped her remaining tears from her cheeks and kissed her lips softly. Brittany reached for Santana's hand instantly intertwining their fingers as they made their way out of the dance studio to the street where Santana hailed a cab.

It was a short cab trip back to their apartment. Santana didn't let go of her girlfriend's hand the entire time. Once they were inside their apartment, Santana pulled Brittany into a tight hug not letting go for a long time.

"Do you want to call your mom?" Santana asked pulling out of the hug.

"I should but I'm exhausted. I just want to take a nap."

"Okay. Do you want me to come with you and hold you?"

Brittany nodded as a tear rolled down her cheek. Santana brushed the tear away and slowly kissed the blonde's lips.

"I love you, Brit."

"I love you, too."

"Come on." Santana took Brittany's hand and let her to their bedroom both crawling into bed. Santana pulled the covers over the both of them as Brittany scooted over to Santana laying her head in the dark haired girl's neck. Santana wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist and rubbed soothing circles around Brit's back. Brittany instantly fell asleep. Santana stayed awake until her was sure Brit fell asleep and then allowed herself to doze off.

The next couple of days were kind of a blur for the both of them. They traveled back to Lima for the funeral and stayed a couple of days to make sure Brittany's mom and sister were okay. Brittany's mom was in good spirits. Of course it was hard but she knew that her husband would want her to continue with her life and be happy. Brittany's sister was sad but having Brittany around really made things easier.

The girls were back in New York by Sunday night. None of them bothered to unpack. They just curled up in bed wrapped in each other's arms and fell right asleep.

When the morning came, Santana awoke to find Brittany out of bed. She got up and threw on her robe and made her way out of their bedroom to find Brittany eating at the table.

"Morning." Brittany said with a smile.

"Britt what are you doing up so early?" Santana asked clearly confused.

"I'm going to work."

"Britt you don't have to. Mike said he'd cover for you for as long as you need. Come back to bed."

"I'm okay. I actually want to go. I need to blow off some steam. Besides they need a new head choreographer and I want it so I need to be on my A game." Brittany replied putting her dishes in the sink and reaching for her jacket. "Plus you should be getting back to work too. We can't really afford to lose anymore hours."

"Britt.."

"Santana I'm fine." Brittany stood up and walked over to Santana. "Go back to bed." She said placing a kiss on Santana's lips. "I'll be home later."

Brittany was out the door before Santana could reply. She went back into her bedroom and plopped down on the bed falling back asleep.


	3. Denial

**Denial**

Santana went to work at the bar at 4pm. It felt good to be back but she couldn't help but worry about Brittany. This morning was weird. Brittany seemed to be in a happy mood. She worried that the blonde was pushing herself too fast. It hasn't even been a week yet. Normally Santana kept her phone on silent at work but she figured she should keep it on ringer just in case.

"Hey Santana! Good to have you back." Santana's boss Jack said hugging her. "How are things?"

"Thanks. They're okay. Just taking it day by day you know?"

"That's all you really can do. But hey, if you need anything else just let me know okay?"

"Okay. Thanks. I really appreciate it."

Jack smiled and turned around to walk away. Santana was so thankful for him. He had been so understanding of the situation and even sent Brittany flowers.

Santana arrived home a little after midnight. She would usually come home and curl up next to a dreaming Brittany but tonight was different. All the lights in the apartment were on and Brittany had her stereo cranked up. Santana took off her coat and her shoes and made her way through the apartment to look for Brittany.

She finally found her in their bedroom. When she walked in there were clothes and shoes everywhere. Brittany saw her walk in and smiled.

"Britt what are you doing?" Santana asked utterly confused.

"WHAT?" Brittany shouted over the music.

Santana turned down the volume of the stereo and looked over at Brittany.

"I said what are you doing? It's like after midnight."

"Is it really? I didn't even notice the time. I was just sorting through all our stuff. I figured we should get rid of some of it since we don't wear half of what's in here."

"And you want to do this now?"

"Well, yeah. I also cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen and then I started in here. That's the keep pile." Brittany pointed to a pile of clothes on their bed. "And that's the give away pile."

Santana knew that given Brittany's state there was no point in arguing with her. So she asked Brittany how she could help and they continued to sort out the closet.

It was a little after 3 am when they finally finished. Brittany set the give away pile by the front door so she could bring it down to the goodwill bin tomorrow. When she returned Santana was fast asleep. She crawled in next to her, hit light and within minutes she was asleep too.

The next couple of days were the same. Brittany got up early, went to work, and by the time Santana got home she was in the middle of a new project. Santana knew Brittany was acting a tad manic but she just wanted to be there for her. She wasn't sure if she should say something to snap Brittany out of it or just let her be. But on Friday morning when she woke up, she knew she had to say something. Brittany was clipping coupons out of circulars and she looked exhausted. Brittany had only slept 3-4 hours a night for the past four days. Santana knew that would catch up to her and didn't want her making herself sick. She sat next to Brittany at the table thinking over her next statement.

"Britt." Brittany didn't answer so Santana clasped both her hands over Brittany's to get the girl to stop cutting. "Babe. I want to talk to you about something. Can you put the scissors down for a sec?" Santana slid the scissors off Brittany's fingers as the blonde slowly looked up at her.

"If I ask you something.. do you promise not to get mad at me?" Santana asked cautiously.

"I could never be mad at you." Brittany said quickly.

"Britt... babe... I'm worried about you. All week you've been cleaning and making lists and you're never home. You've barely slept. I know you're exhausted. Are you just doing all of this to avoid dealing with.. you know?" Santana bit her lip.

"Santana I'm fine. I've just been really inspired lately and I wanted to do all those things before I was uninspired."

"Okay. But you know that if you were you could tell me right? I wouldn't be mad or anything. I just want to help you and be here for you."

"I know. But I'm not." Brittany said looking down. Santana knew she was lying because Brittany can't look her in the eyes when she lies. Santana didn't want to push her any further. She didn't want Brittany to not come to her or push her away so she lifted Brittany's chin with her hand and kissed her. Brittany pulled away quickly and scooted her seat back.

"I um.. I have to go. I'm gonna be late." she said not looking at Santana. Santana could see the tears forming in her eyes. But before she could say anything Brittany had grabbed her jacket and ran out the door. Santana sat there and rubbed her forehead with her hands not knowing what to do.

Brittany had been living in a state of numbness. It wasn't that she felt sad or angry or regretful. It wasn't any of those. She didn't feel anything. Everything felt dreamlike and surreal. When Brittany slept in Santana's arms, she felt nothing. When Santana kissed her, she felt nothing. They haven't had sex since it happened and since Brittany was numb, she didn't feel the want to. Sometimes she wish she could feel something. Anything.

Then one day, she felt something but it wasn't the emotion she wanted to feel.

Brittany arrived at the dance studio the next day to find her class already started. A girl named Bree was teaching. Brittany had been back to teaching like normal so she was confused why someone else had taken over her class.

"What's going on?" Brittany asked.

"They didn't tell you?" Bree asked as Brittany shook her head confused. "Oh. Well. I'm taking over this class for the rest of the year."

"Says who?" Brittany's blood began to boil. Just as she was about to say something, Mike walked in.

"Hey. Can I see you in my office?" Mike asked giving Brittany a smile.

Brittany followed Mike to his office and sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. What the hell was going on? She felt the anger rushing through her as she took a deep breath to calm herself.

"So I'm assuming you want to know why I gave Bree your class."

Brittany nodded. "Um, yeah."

"Britt, you look exhausted. You've been a little off your game lately. Which is totally understandable given the circumstances but you need to take it easy for a while. Let Bree take over this one class and you can have all your other ones."

"So you're like my mom now?"

"Britt, you know it's not like that."

Brittany nodded and got up without saying anything. She was infuriated. The blonde walked into the classroom and grabbed all her music and notebooks.

"Well, congrats. Seems you have my best class because some people think I can't handle it."

Mike appeared in the doorway. "That's not what I said, Britt. Go home. Get some rest. We'll discuss this later."

"Fine." Brittany began walking out then stopped and took her cds and threw them across the room making them fly everywhere.

"I guess I don't need these." Brittany began to rip up her notebook of dance routines. "And I might as well just get rid of this too."

"Brittany! Stop!"

"WHY?! Why do you people keep taking things from me?!"

Mike was at a loss for words. He suddenly understood that this outburst wasn't about her losing a class but her dad dying. Before Mike could say anything, Brittany ran out.


	4. Anger

**Anger**

Santana was at home doing some laundry when her phone started buzzing. Mike's name flashed across the screen and suddenly she got the feeling that something was wrong.

"Hello?"

"Hey, so I don't want to worry you or anything but I wanted to give you a heads up."

"What's going on?"

"Well, I gave one of Brittany's classes to another girl and Brittany went ape shit on all of us. Like I've never seen her that angry before. She was yelling and throwing things. Did she come home yet?" Just as Mike finished the question, the door to their apartment slammed.

"Uh, that's probably her. Thanks Mike. Gotta go."

Santana took a deep breath and made her way towards to door. Brittany was leaning against it with her eyes closed and tears running down her cheeks. Santana knew that she must be irate because she was crying. Brittany always cried when she was angry.

"Brittany?" Santana said as she stepped closer to the blonde. "Hey. What's wrong?" Santana used the pads of her thumbs to wipe the tears away.

Brittany laughed before speaking. "Well, Mike is apparently my mother and doesn't think that I can handle all my classes so he gave one to Bree." Brittany walked past Santana before turning to look at her again. "I'm so sick of people telling me what I can and can't do. I'm a grown fucking woman for crying out loud!" Brittany said as she kicked the side of the couch.

"Britt.."

"I'm sorry."

"Babe, don't be sorry. It's okay." Santana took a couple steps towards to blonde and grabbed her arm. "Come here." Santana pulled Brittany into an embrace. "Is there anything I can do?"

Brittany shook her head. "No." Brittany said as she pulled back. "I think I'm just gonna go for a run. I just need to work this off."

"Okay." Santana smiled at the blonde who attempted to smile back. She then leaned in and gave Brittany a peck on the lips. "Be careful, okay?"

Brittany smiled and nodded.

Brittany arrived back home at dinner time. Santana was curled up on the couch watching tv. She sat next to her on the couch and gave her a soft kiss. Santana smiled and pulled her in for a hug.

"Hey babe. How was your run?" Santana asked pulling away.

"It was good. Refreshing. How was your day?"

"Okay."

"So... what are we watching?"

"I don't even know." Santana looked at Brittany cautiously. "Britt.. can we talk for a sec?"

"Sure. About what?"

"You."

Brittany was silent for a moment but eventually answered. She knew what was coming. "What about me?"

"I don't know Britt. What's going on with you? I've never seen you so angry before. It's not like you."

"I'm fine. I just got really mad. You know how much that class meant to me." Brittany said as she scooted away from the Latina.

"I know. But still.. I know there's more to that than what you're telling me." Santana said turning towards the blonde running her fingers through her girlfriends hair as Brittany stayed silent. "Talk to me. It's ME, Britt. You can tell me anything."

"I don't know what you want me to say.."

"Say something. I mean it's not good for you to keep this bottled up. You're gonna go crazy."

Brittany stared at the floor. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to cry. She just wanted to go back to her normal life and just be happy. She didn't want to deal with it.

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Britt stop!" Santana said sternly grabbing the blonde's arm before she could move. "I'm done with this not talking. I want to be there for you but I can't do that if you don't say anything. Let me in. Let me take care of you."

"I don't need you to take care of me, Santana. I'm a big girl."

"I know. I'm just worried about you."

"Well don't be! I'm fine. For the thousandth time! What do you want me to do?" Brittany got up from the couch and stood in front of the Latina with her hands crossed.

"I don't know. Show some kind of emotion. You're like a zombie!"

"So what? What- do you want me to cry? Get mad? Yell?" Brittany was getting agitated and started to yell. "Just leave me alone! Stop trying to fix me. I don't need you. I don't want you. So stop!"

Santana was in shock. Brittany's rage had taken over. Santana just stood there unable to speak. Was she really saying these things? She couldn't help the tears that began to roll down her cheeks. Finally she found her voice.

"You don't really mean that."

"Yes I do. We're done."

Brittany grabbed her jacket and stormed out the door leaving Santana devastated. Santana curled up in a ball and sobbed on the couch.

The next day, Santana shot Quinn and Rachel a frantic text to come over. They got there quickly and Santana let them in and they all piled onto the couch.

"Santana what's wrong?" Quinn asked.

"Brittany broke up with me last night."

"What?!" Rachel and Quinn said at the same time.

"She's been different since her dad died. She won't talk to me. She just works allll the time. She's avoiding it all. And last night I tried to get her to talk but she became irate and left."

"Are you sure it wasn't just a fight?" Rachel asked.

Santana shook her head. "Normally I'd say yes. Normally I can read her so well but.." Santana took a deep breath holding in the tears. "Last night when I looked in her eyes... I couldn't see her anymore." A tear rolled down Santana's cheek. Rachel reached over to the coffee table and handed her a tissue.

"I just.. don't know what to do. I love her so much and I just hate this so much." Santana broke down. Rachel and Quinn wrapped their arms around her allowing the girl to cry.

Brittany had slept in her office at the dance studio. Her morning was free and she stared blankly at the wall when a knock was heard at her door. She looked up to see Rachel and Quinn standing there. She shook her head to snap herself back to reality.

"H-hey." Brittany said. "What are you doing here?"

"We came to see how you were silly." Quinn said as Brittany stood up. Quinn hugged Brittany and then Rachel came over and hugged her as well.

"So how are you? How's Santana?" Rachel asked playing dumb.

"I'm okay. Santana's okay. We're good."

"Are you sure because that's not what Santana said." Quinn said with caution.

"God. Did she send you two over here or something?"

"No no. We wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean.. it's a big deal you breaking up with Santana. You guys have been together for a long time." Quinn stated.

"I didn't break up with her. We just had a fight. She'll be fine."

"That's not what Santana thinks."

"What do you mean?" Rachel and Quinn gave her the same uncertain look. "Come on. She doesn't think that I would really break up with her. I love her." Quinn bit her lip as Rachel looked down at the floor. "Wait.. she really thinks I broke up with her?"

Quinn nodded. "She's a mess Britt."

"I gotta go."

Brittany grabbed her things and sprinted out the door. She surely thought that Santana knew that it was just emotions talking and not actually a break up. All she knew now was she had to get to her and show her that she still loves her. However she still felt numb to everything. Santana was right. She felt like a zombie just going through the motions. She felt bad that she couldn't exactly show the brunette how much she loves and appreciates her.


	5. Bargaining

**Bargaining**

When Brittany arrived home, she searched the apartment for Santana. She heard the shower running in the bathroom and quietly opened the door and slipped in. She heard Santana weeping and it broke her heart. That was her doing. Without even thinking, she slipped into the shower fully clothed and wrapped her arms around the broken latina pressing her front into her back. Santana gasped. Brittany rested her cheek against the back of Santana's neck.

"Brittany?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry San."

"I love you Brittany."

"I love you too. I'm so sorry."

"Brittany you're getting all wet."

"Shhh. Just give me a minute San."

Brittany stood there holding Santana closely. Santana was still crying. She was so confused. After a couple minutes she turned around and faced Brittany staring deeply in her eyes.

"What's going on Britt?"

"I don't even know how to explain it."

"Talk to me."

"I don't even.. it was like nothing at first. I felt nothing. And then all of a sudden I felt like I was going to explode with rage. I thought that I was gonna go all Lima Heights on someone." Santana giggled at the last pun. "It's just a roller coaster in my head right now." Brittany cupped her own face and let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for last night to happen. You've been so patient and I've been such an ass."

"Baby, I understand." Santana said pulling Brittany back. "But I need you to know that when you're ready.. to deal with all of this.. I'll be right here. Always. You just tell me that you need me and I'll be there to hold you and kiss you and make it all better." Santana pulled Brittany in for a kiss. "Come on. Let's get you out of these wet clothes."

Brittany, even though she opened up to Santana was still struggling with a sense of numbness. The anger subsided. Most likely because she wasn't an angry person to begin with. That was Santana's emotion. She tried everything to feel something but it always failed. She needed a release so she pulled out her phone and called Quinn. She knew that Quinn would be having a party tonight. Quinn and Puck always had parties on Saturday night.

After speaking to a very intoxicated Quinn, Brittany got changed into her party attire and headed to Quinn's. When she arrived, the place was packed with people. There was music and dancing, food and lots of booze. There were people practically having sex in the corners. Brittany smiled. This was were she needed to be. She spotted Quinn and made her way over to her.

"Brittany! You came!" Quinn slurred falling into Brittany's arms in an attempt to hug her.

"Thanks for letting me come. I needed to get out. And see you of course." Brittany smiled.

"Let's get you a drink!" Quinn grabbed Brittany's hand and led her to the kitchen which she stumbed to. She was greeted by Puck and his buddy Matt when they arrived.

"Hey Britt!" Puck said when he saw the blonde.

"Hey! What are you guys doing?"

"Shots. Want one?"

"Totally. Fill me up!"

"That's my girl!"

Puck filled Brittany and Matt a shot and one for themselves. They all did their shot at the same time. Brittany make a disgusted face when she swallowed. It had been a while since she drank.

"You good?" Puck asked when he saw the girl's face.

"Yeah. Another?"

Puck poured them another round of shots. This one seemed to go down easier. A couple minutes later, Brittany was feeling the effects. She felt looser and more daring. She grabbed Puck's arm and pulled him to the living room where everyone was dancing.

"Hey! He's mine!" Quinn smirked.

"You'll get him back. I just need to borrow him." Brittany said with a wink.

Puck and Brittany began dancing to the music. It felt so good to let loose Brittany thought.

"Want a beer?" Puck yelled over the music.

"Sure."

Puck left for a couple minutes and came back with two beers. One for him and one for Brittany. The party went on and Brittany had danced with almost everyone there. She was about two shots and three beers deep. She was on the verge of intoxication. She didn't care. She was having fun and she was with people she loved. At that point someone was carrying around a tray of brownies. Brittany knew that they were laced with pot. That was Puck's specialty. Usually she stayed away from them because they made you so high you could barely function. Tonight was different. She was dancing with a guy who's name she doesn't remember when the guy with the tray walked over to them. Brittany grabbed a brownie off the tray and scarfed it down.

Several minutes later, Brittany was in a haze. It wasn't the release she was looking for really. She was even more numb than before. Not feeling anything except for her stomach feeling weird. She was hungry. She left the living room and went back to the kitchen where she began devouring everything in sight.

Quinn who was now sober saw her and came over.

"Whoa there. Someone's hungry." Quinn laughed.

"Sorry. Everything is just soooo goood." she said inbetween bites.

Quinn gave a questioning look. "Britt.. are you um.. are you high?"

"As a kite." Brittany laughed. "A little drunk too."

"This isn't like you. Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Quinn. I just wanted a night out. And it was just go hard or go home."

"Okay. But if there was something wrong, you'd tell me right?"

"Of course." Brittany said pulling Quinn into a hug. "You smell so good!"

Quinn laughed pulling back from the hug. The party was dead now. Everyone had either left or gone home. It was nearly 2am. Brittany tried to walk but stumbled and almost fell but Quinn's hand stopped her.

"I think I'll go home now. I really miss Santana." Brittany said as she squeezed her own boobs.

"Whoa. Britt. Tone it down." Quinn chuckled. "I can't let you leave like this. How about I drive you?"

Brittany nodded. Quinn grabbed Brittany's jacket and purse from her room and then helped Brittany walk out to the parking garage to her car.

Santana had just gotten home and just started falling asleep when she heard a loud bang and Brittany laughing in their apartment. She got out of bed and walked to the living room to see what the commotion was. The coat hanger by the door was tipped over as was Brittany who was on the floor laughing hysterically. Quinn helped Brittany to her feet as Santana switched on the light.

"What's going on?" Santana said groggily.

"Santanaaaaaaa!" Brittany said cheerfully stumbing into Santana's arms. She gripped Brittany's waist and looked over at Quinn.

"Britt-" Brittany began stroking Santana's hair and commenting on how soft it was. "Britt are you stoned?"

Brittany just laughed. Santana took that as a yes.

"She's a little drunk too. Sorry Santana. I should have been watching her better. I was a little drunk earlier." Quinn said as Santana fumbled with Brittany trying to keep her still.

"It's okay Quinn. It's not your fault. She'll be fine." Santana smiled a Quinn. "Hey, Britt. What do you say I make you a plate of greasy cheese fries?"

Brittany's face light up and her lips were in an O shape as if to say "Oooh"

"Yeah?" Santana asked as Brittany nodded. "Thanks for bringing her home Quinnie. I've got her now."

"No problem." Quinn said hugging Brittany and Santana as Brittany was still in Santana's arms. "Let's do lunch soon."

"Sounds good." Quinn walked out of the apartment leaving Brittany and Santana alone. "Okay my little stoner, let's sit you on the couch."

Santana sat Brittany on the couch and moved to the kitchen to make Brittany cheese fries. Brittany was singing loudly to herself and dancing while still sitting on the couch. Santana really wasn't sure whether to be amused or worried. Brittany never got this loaded before. She always knew her limits. It was usually Brittany cutting off Santana. Not the other way around. Santana finished making her fries, put them on a plate and made her way over the Brittany. She teasingly wafted the plate in front of Brittany's nose making Brittany even more excited.

"Mmmm. So good Santana." Brittany said as she greedily devoured the fries. Once she was done, she put down the plate on the table and licked her fingers clean of the lingering cheese. The blonde turned to the Latina and pulled her into a hug. Santana instantly hugged her back as the blonde buried her face in the crook of her neck.

"You always take such good care of me." Brittany whispered.

Santana smiled and kissed the top of her head. They were silence for the next few moments. Just staying steady in each other's arms. It was then that Santana realized how much she missed Brittany. Just being like this, so warm and full of love. Brittany pulled away and kissed Santana slowly and passionately.

"I love you." Brittany said against her lips.

"I love you, too."

They continued to kiss each other. Each time a little more hungrily. Brittany started to make her way up Santana's shirt when she suddenly pulled away and ran to the bathroom. Santana got up and followed as she heard the blonde throwing up. She slipped in the door and walked over to the blonde, who was hunched over the toilet, pulling her hair back. Brittany continued to hurl as Santana held her hair with one hand and rubbed her back with the other.

A couple minutes later, the puking had slowed down and the blonde had her cheek resting on her hand on the side of the bowl. She flushed the toilet and just rested there for a little to make sure it was all out. Santana had left to go get Brittany a bottle of water but was back within a minute.

"You okay?" Santana said as she unscrewed the cap of the water.

"Yeah. I think I got it all out."

"Here. Drink this." Santana handed the bottle of water to Brittany who took a few sips and gave it back. Brittany reached her hand out to Santana motioning to help her up. Santana helped her over to the sink where she brushed her teeth and washed her face.

By that time, everything had worn off. She turned around to face the Latina and look into her eyes. She could see the love and tenderness she had her and immediately felt guilty for not being able to express the same. Santana nodded towards the bedroom and they crawled into bed. Brittany turned to face her dark haired girl and cupped her cheek.

"Are you feeling better?" the Latina asked quietly.

"Sooo much better. Still a little high but I definitely got all the alcohol out."

"Good. I missed you today."

Brittany kissed Santana slowly. Still nothing. She was determined to find a way to feel something for Santana so she slid her tongue across the Latina's lips begging for an entrance. Santana granted it and their tongues rolled lazily with each others. Brittany pulled the brunette closer and moaned into the kiss. The brownies did make every touch feel more electric. Brittany found the bottom of Santana's shirt and began to inch her way up. She brushed over the brunette's sexy abs and up to cup her breasts illiciting a moan from her. Brittany's kisses began to become more hungrier and desperate. She grabbed the hem of her girlfriend's shirt and began to tug it off.

"Britt." Santana said quietly through the kisses. "Wait." The blonde stopped and pulled back locking eyes with the brunette. "We don't have to do this. I know you're still a little funny from earlier."

"I want to." Brittany said blankly.

"But-" Santana started to say but was cut off.

"Shhhhh. Please." Brittany's tone was desperate. "I just want to make love to you. Please."

Santana stared at her for a brief moment before answering. "Okay." Brittany leaned in to kiss her but Santana put her hand on Britt's chest and leaned back to look at her once more. "But are you sure you're okay?"

Brittany began leaning in again and stopped right before their lips touched. "Yes." she whispered before crashing their lips together.

Brittany picked up where she left off, tugging the smaller girl's shirt off. She began kissing her way down the girl's neck to her chest and then brought a nipple into her mouth She sucked, flicked, twirled it with her tongue causing a moan to escape the brunette's lips. She did the same to the other one as her hand started to make it's way downstairs.

Brittany moved her hand down the smaller girl's shorts and moved her index and middle finger over her folds of her clothed core. Santana began panting and Brittany took this a sign of need. She sat up slightly so she could hook her fingers into the other girl's waistband and in one swift motion tore off her shorts and panties. She began planting kisses up the girl's stomach, chest, neck, and up to her lips while running her fingers over the girl's slick folds. Santana desperately moaned at the contact clinging to Brittany. Brittany kissed her way down and spread the brunette's legs open wider. She planted kisses up her thighs and then one on the latina's core causing her to buck her hips upwards.

"Brittany... please." Santana moaned out in desperate.

Brittany dove her tongue into the girl's sex lapping her tongue through her folds. Santana moaned loudly and fisted the bed sheets. Brittany sucked and twisted her tongue making Santana go crazy from pleasure. She moved her tongue lower to the girl's entrance and swirled it with her tongue. Santana's panting intensified.

"Oh god Britt... please... fuck."

Brittany shoved her tongue in the girl's entrance and Santana's back arched. She pulled her tongue out and then entered again and again and again.

"Britt.. don't stop.. I'm gonna-"

Brittany moved her tongue in and out faster and faster as the latina started to clench around her. She felt her legs begin to shake and her body begin to sweat. One last thrust was all it took to send to Latina over the edge screaming Brittany's name as her body went limp.

"Oh my god. That was-" Santana was trying to catch her breath and recover. "Come here."

Brittany moved up the Latina's body and placed a kiss on her lips. The latina soon recovered and flipped them over.

"Your turn." Santana smirked. "God why are you still clothed?"

Santana pulled at Brittany's shirt and the blonde lifted her body and her arms so the latina could pull it off. She immediately cupped her breasts and began kissing her neck. Brittany could feel that she was aroused but she didn't really feel the pleasure that she normally did. She became a little nervous that she might have to fake it. She was stuck in her thoughts and wasn't paying attention to what the brunette was doing when she felt a wave of pleasure roll through her body.

"Oh!" the blonde exclaimed without realizing it was her that just moaned.

Brittany's shorts and panties her off and the brunettes hand was between her legs rubbing at the nub of nerves that drove Brittany crazy. Brittany felt nothing but pleasure as she dug her nails in the Latina's back.

"Oh god. Harder San." Santana added more pressure and picked up the pace causing Brittany to moan and become wetter. She felt herself building up when suddenly the Latina stopped. Brittany grunted out of frustration but then another wave of pleasure hit her when she felt two fingers inside her. "Oh my god. Santana... i'm gonna come." Santana moved her thumb over the blonde's nub and Brittany saw stars.

Suddenly it was a rush of emotions in her head. She felt everything. Everything that she hadn't felt since her buried her father slammed right into her. She was breathing rapidly and she felt the tears. She couldn't. She wasn't ready for that. She flew out of bed and ran to the bathroom locking the door behind her. The blonde staggered over to the sink and tried to catch her breath.

"Come on get it together." She said to herself.

There was a knock at the door. "Britt? Are you okay?" The blonde took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Brittany cleared her throat and prayed that her voice wouldn't come out all straggled. She knew the brunette would know that that was her about to cry voice. "Yeah I'm okay. I- um.. I.. felt sick again. I just need a minute." Her voice came out normal. Brittany silently whewed herself.

"Okay. Do you need me to come in?"

"No. I'm okay. I'll be there in a few. Go back to bed."

She heard Santana leave so she turned to look at herself in the mirror. She stayed like that for a couple minutes taking deep breaths before going back to bed. Santana was still awake waiting for Brittany to return. Brittany forced a smile as she climbed in bed and wrapped her arms around Santana. Santana was asleep almost instantaneously.

Earlier she was begging to feel something and then suddenly she felt too much. Drugs, alcohol, dancing, and kissing didn't make her feel anything but sex did. The orgasm did. She didn't expect to feel everything. It made her brain feel like it was going to explode. She wasn't ready for that. She didn't want that to happen and then leave Santana there to pick up the pieces. She had already put her through so much. Now she was going to have to avoid sex at all costs.

Brittany awoke the next morning to Santana smiling at her while stroking her hair. Brittany smiled back as Santana interwined their fingers and kissed her knuckles.

"Good morning drunky." Santana chuckled.

"Morning." Brittany replied as she yawned.

"Are you feeling better?

"Mm. Yeah. Just tired."

Santana leaned in and pressed her lips to Brittany's kissing her softly. Brittany hummed and then Santana deepened the kiss as she slid her tongue across Brittany's lips before the blonde part of them.

"Mmm. Last night was amazing. I missed your body so much." Santana wrapped her arm around the blonde's waist pulling her closer the heat between her legs increasing. "What do you say we have a little part two?"

Brittany's lips stopped moving and her heart began to race. She quickly pulled away and sat up. "I, um, I have to go to work."

"We can be quick." Santana replied pulling the blonde back down. The blonde's body tensed and it didn't go unnoticed by the brunette. "Britt, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing." Brittany sat back up and began to move on the bed. "I'm gonna be late." She said quickly as she began to get dressed.

"Britt.."

"I gotta go. I'll see you later." Brittany kissed Santana on the cheek and ran out the door.

The truth was that Brittany didn't need to be there for a couple more hours. But she couldn't have sex. She couldn't. Not when it had the effect it had on her last night. She wasn't ready for that. She didn't even completely understand what was happening herself. How could she let Santana in if she couldn't even comprehend it?

Santana knew something was up. Brittany was never one to refuse sex. Even at the expense of her job. The girl was like a rabbit in bed. What was Brittany not telling her?

Brittany arrived at the dance studio for her first class after getting coffee and taking a walk in Central Park. There was a note on her desk asking her to meet Mike in his office when she got there. She assumed he wanted to apologize for the other day. She walked the short distance to his office and knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in!" Mike yelled. Brittany stepped inside and closed the door behind her. "Oh hey, Britt. Have a seat." Brittany did as she was told sitting in one of the seats in front of his desk. "So listen. I know you're not going to like this but just hear me out." Mike took a deep breath carefully examining his next words. "I'm giving all your classes to Bree."

"WHAT?!" Brittany yelled standing up.

"Britt.. there's more. Just let me explain." Mike stated calmly as he stood up.

"You're supposed to be my friend, Mike! And now you're firing me?!"

"I'm not firing you. Just sit and listen."

"No. What am I gonna be doing then?! HUH?! You know what? Forget it. I quit. I thought we were friends but clearly we're not. I work my ass off and you repay me by giving away all my classes? Real nice, Mike. Have a nice life."

Brittany stormed out of Mike's office slamming the door behind her before Mike could even explain why he had done what he had. Brittany ran out of the studio and hailed a cab taking her back home. When she arrived at the apartment it was empty. Santana must have gone to work. The blonde sat down on her bed and tried to calm herself down. It was too much. She felt it. The lump in her throat forming. Before she could stop them the tears were making their way down her cheeks. She took off her shoes and slid in bed under the covers as she cried herself to sleep.

She awoke a couple hours later but never moved from that spot. She couldn't. She felt paralyzed. Her entire world had been ripped from her and she couldn't do anything about it. The first person that popped in her head next wasn't Santana. It was her dad. She thought about him. What he would do and what he would tell her to do. She couldn't take it. Violent sobs racked through her body at the thought of him. She needed him. He had always believed in her the most. No matter what she wanted to do, he was behind her supporting her every step of the way. He was her biggest fan. And now he was gone. There was nothing but an empty hole in her heart. Again, Brittany cried herself back to sleep.

Santana arrived home late and slipped into bed behind Brittany not seeing her tear stained face. She kissed the back of her neck before falling asleep.


	6. Depression

**A/N - This chapter is pretty long. I think that anyone who has lost someone close to them knows that depression is usually the hardest part to get through. That being said, this chapter is pretty heavy so beware.**

**Depression**

Brittany woke up before Santana the next day. She slid out of bed to use the bathroom and wash her face of yesterday's tears before returning to bed and falling back asleep.

She was woken up by Santana shaking her gently a couple hours later.

"Britt." Santana whispered while slightly shaking her. The blonde woke up and lifted her head a bit to look at her girlfriend. She simply just groaned. "Wake up. I made you breakfast before you have to go to work."

"Thanks but I'm not hungry and it would have been better if I had a job to go to."

Santana's brows creased. "What do you mean?"

"Mike fired me." Brittany said as she closed her eyes drifting back to sleep.

"WHAT?! Britt. What the hell happened?"

"I don't know. I'm tired. I'm going back to sleep."

"Britt.." Santana said softly but there was no reply.

Santana got up and headed to work. After everything her boss had done for her, she couldn't really afford to miss any more days.

Brittany didn't get out of bed that day. She didn't get out of bed the next day or the day after that. She barely spoke to Santana. Only mumbled. She barely ate. She mostly slept or watched I Love Lucy reruns which she used to watch with her dad. Santana let it slid figuring she just needed some time to bounce back from everything. But after a week passed, she had had enough.

Santana came home from work in the afternoon after working a morning shift at the bar. Brittany was in bed with a large bowl of popcorn watching I Love Lucy reruns still. Brittany was laughing at the tv when Santana came into the room. At this point she was pretty frustrated. Brittany refused to talk to her still and was clearly not doing anything to help herself. She grabbed the remote off the night stand and turned off the tv.

"Hey! I was watching that." Brittany said, her mouth full of popcorn.

"Brittany, what the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like i'm doing?"

"Wasting your life. Are you ever going to get out of bed?"

"I don't know. Maybe not. I like it here."

"Brittany you need to get up!" Santana said as she threw the covers off Brittany.

"I don't want to!"

"Why not?!"

"Because-" Brittany stopped herself. Instead she got up out of bed while looking at the ground. "I'm up. Happy?"

"Brittany, what's going on? Talk to me. Please." Brittany looked up at the brunette but didn't say anything. "That's the first time I've seen you eat in a week, you sleep all the time, you won't talk to me, you don't have to have sex. Tell me. What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Santana scoffed while throwing her arms up in the air. "Of course. Of course you won't tell me."

"There's nothing to tell, Santana."

"God, Britt!" Santana yelled as she banged her hand forcfully at the wall. Brittany jumped. Santana shook her hand and then walked quickly over to Brittany cupping her cheeks forcing the blonde to look into her eyes.. "I know something is wrong and you need to tell me right now."

"There's nothing wrong."

"Stop lying to me!" Santana yelled and held her face tighter.

"Santana, stop! Just leave me alone!" Brittany tore Santana's hands off her cheeks and pushed her backwards making the brunette stumble. It took Brittany a second to realize what just happened. She'd never put her hands on Santana before or done anything like that. Even though she just shoved her a little bit, it felt like she did something much worse. Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened as she covered her mouth with her hand. "Santana... I'm so sorry." Brittany began to step closer but Santana put out her hand to stop her. They both stood there silently for a moment before Santana spoke.

"I can't do this anymore, Brittany. I know you. I know there's something more going on than what you're telling me but I can't help you if you don't talk to me. All I want to do is be here for you but all you do is push me away."

"Are... are you breaking up with me?" Brittany asked as her eyes filled with tears.

"That's up to you. Either you need to figure out a way to talk to me or even go and talk to a professional or I'm done. Your decision." And with that, Santana walked out the door leaving Brittany alone.

Things didn't change at first. Brittany got back in bed and stayed there all night. Doing exactly what she was doing before. Reality began to set in when Santana didn't come home that night or the next night or the night after that. Brittany figured she just needed some time away for a day or two but when she didn't come home the third night, she began to worry.

She had to fix this. Even if it meant swallowing her pride and telling Santana everything. Who knows? Santana might leave her after she confessed everything anyways but it was worth a shot right?

Santana was at work the next day when one of her coworkers came over to her carrying a large arrangement of flowers. The latino boy sat them in front of her and her eyes went wide.

"These came for you."

"What the hell? Thanks."

On top of the flowers was a card. The Latina spotted it and pulled it out.

_I'm sorry. I love you. I need you. I want you. Don't leave. Come home tonight and I'll tell you what you want to know. I LOVE YOU. xoxo Britt Britt_

Santana smiled slightly. That was sweet but she couldn't be too sure until she talked to the blonde. All Santana wanted was for Brittany to confide in her. She just wanted to listen to her and hold her and just be her rock. Something Brittany hadn't really let her do. The thing about it was that Santana didn't even understand why she was pushing her away. It's not like she was going to bail on her or anything. But she desperately needed to know all the details so she pulled out her phone and shot Brittany a text.

_Got the flowers. Thank you. That was really sweet. I'll be home around 10 tonight and then we can talk, ok? - San_

Santana arrived home to find Brittany sitting on the couch nervously twiddling her thumbs. She looked up and gave Santana a weak smile to which the latina returned. She padded the space next to her motioning for Santana to sit which she obeyed sitting down next to her. There was a lengthy pause between them both not knowing where to start.

"Britt"

"Santana" they both said at the same time.

"Let me." Brittany said as the brunette nodded. "Santana, I love you with every bone in my body. You were right. There's things that I'm not telling you. Mostly because I don't really understand them myself and also because I'm.. scared."

"Britt... you don't have to be afraid. It's just me. You know you can tell me anything."

Brittany nodded. "So what exactly do you want to know?"

"Everything. Just tell me what's going on, Britt."

Brittany took a deep breath. "Okay.. um.. at first, like when we got back home from Lima, it was like a rollercoaster in my head. I had a million thoughts rolling around and I just needed it to stop. So I just threw myself into whatever I could. Cleaning, dancing, rearranging. And that helped. I just needed a distraction. But then.. I don't know. I just felt nothing. Numb. It may sound silly because that's originally what I wanted to feel but it's really hard to connect with someone you love when you feel nothing." Brittany swallowed and took another deep breath before continuing. "I tried several things to feel something. For you. Dancing, alcohol, pot brownies." Brittany smiled at the last bit and Santana chuckled. "But... the only time that I ever felt anything was when..." Brittany started to get emotional and panicky. Santana took notice of it and scooted closer taking Brittany's hand and interwining their fingers.

"When..?" Santana asked after a beat.

"We had sex. It was liberating. I just wanted to be able to feel the love that you feel for me. I needed you. Please don't be mad at me. I don't want you to think I just used you to feel something." Brittany began to cry a little.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm not mad at you and I don't think that." Santana said comfortingly while rubbing her thumb against the back of Brittany's hand soothingly.

"And then all of a sudden I just got really angry. Like rage. I don't even know where it came from. I just went all Lima Heights for no reason. I know what Mike did he was only trying to help me. I know that now. But I was just so angry." Santana gave Brittany's hand a light squeeze as the blonde thought about what happened next. "And then I took it out on you and I still feel horrible about it. The anger didn't last long. Soon I was just playing the what if game in my head. Just pleading for everything that I wanted. But then... sex didn't make me feel the way it did before. It was like a release before but now... even still.. it makes me feel everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Saddness, angry, regret, happiness, emptiness. Everything. And it's all just too much. That's the reason I went to the bathroom the last time. I was trying to keep it together. I didn't want you to see me like that. Broken."

"Baby, you're not broken. And if you were, I'd fix you. You don't have to keep it together for me. That's why you have me. No matter what you're feeling Brittany, I'll always be there for you. If you need someone to yell at or hold you or whatever. I'm always here. Don't hold it together for me. Let it out. When you feel like that, you come to ME and let it out." Brittany nodded. "So.. what happened this past week?"

"Well Mike sorta fired me. I don't know. He took away all my classes. He said there was more too it but I was just too all over the place to care about that part. And then when I came home I just broke down. I couldn't move. And.." Brittany closed her eyes as tears slid down her face. "I needed you so bad. And I needed my dad. But I can't have him and I just didn't know how to ask you. But I just needed you to hold me and kiss me and tell me that everything was going to be okay." Brittany sniffled and wiped the tears that were still coming out of her eyes.

Santana kissed her forehead and then wrapped her arms around Brittany. "Shh. Everything's going to be okay. I promise." Brittany nodded and let Santana hold her for a couple minutes before pulling away.

"And I don't know... I just didn't want to deal with anything else. So I just stayed in bed ignoring the world. And then... here we are."

They sat in silence for a moment unsure of what to say next. Finally Brittany spoke up.

"i understand if you want to leave me.." Brittany said quietly as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

"WHAT?! Brittany S. Pierce look at me." Santana used her free hand to move Brittany's face so their eyes locked. Tears still were rolling down the blonde's cheeks but she managed to look at her. "I'm not going anywhere. Ever. All of this.. we'll get through it. You weren't talking before and I thought that you didn't want me anymore so that's why I got upset but I promise you, I'm not leaving you, okay?" Brittany nodded and Santana kissed away the tears falling from her eyes before pulling her into an embrace. After a few moments Brittany pulled away and placed her lips on Santana's kissing her gently. Santana deepened the kiss and Brittany inserted her tongue into the brunette's mouth. Santana moaned into the kiss and the two were feeling up each other's body's frantically. Santana started to run her hand up the blonde's shirt when Brittany pulled away.

"Wait." the blonde said suddenly moving away. "I can't... not yet. I'm sorry." she looked away.

"Baby, it's okay." Santana replied taking the blonde's hand in hers. "But when you are, just know that I'll be here every step of the way, Britt. I love you. You just take your time."

Brittany nodded and her body tense. "I'm tired. I want to go to bed."

"Okay. Want me to come cuddle with you?"

"No. It's okay. I'm okay."

Brittany didn't look at Santana. She was clearly nervous and Santana noticed. She had opened up to her completely but was now closing back up again.

"Babe.. I'm sorry I didn't mean to."

"It's okay. You didn't do anything. I'm just emotionally exhausted." Brittany kissed the brunette on the cheek and stood up. "Goodnight. I love you." the blonde quickly walked to their bedroom and closed the door letting out a deep breath clutching her eyes shut. She quickly got changed and was asleep in minutes.

Santana watched tv for a while and then finally went to join her girlfriend in bed. She slid into her side of the bed which seemed miles from the blonde's and tried to fall asleep.

The next day, Brittany and Santana spent the day setting up for a last minute birthday party for Quinn in their apartment. They didn't talk much. Even though they had made a major break through last time, the tension was still there. They walked on egg shells around each other unsure of what to do or say. They just focused on getting everything ready.

Finally people started arriving. All of their friends; Finn, Rachel, Mercedes, Kurt, Blaine, Puck, Tina, etc. Santana sent Quinn the frantic text like they rehearsed luring her to the apartment. Everyone hid and when Santana opened the door, everyone jumped out and yelled "surprize!" Brittany and Santana mostly avoided each other but frequently exchanged glances. Santana saw Brittany heading to their bedroom alone looking somewhat overwhelmed. She gave her some time figuring she was just using their bathroom but then after about ten minutes she decided to go check on her.

She knocked lightly and then went in not waiting for a response.

"Hey." the brunette said sticking her head in the door. Brittany was sitting at the top of their bed with her back against the headboard.

"Hey." Brittany said as she smiled weakly. Santana entered fully and closed the door behind her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I just needed a minute to myself."

Santana nodded. "Okay. I'l just leave you to your thoughts then." the brunette said as she turned on her heel and reached for the handle.

"Wait. Don't go." Santana froze in her position and turned her head around to look at Brittany. "Stay... please?"

Santana turned around to face her and then nodded as Brittany padded the space next to her. Santana got the hint and crawled in next to her. When she settled down, Brittany interwined her fingers with the brunette and lay her head on her shoulder. Santana turned her head and kissed the top of her girlfriend's head before laying her head on top of the blonde's. They both just sat there for a minute just enjoying the quiet.

"What are you thinking about?" Santana finally spoke.

"My dad." There was a brief pause. "Do you remember when we were kids and my dad built us the tree house? And we practically lived there?"

Santana chuckled. "Yeah they could never get us down from there. Even in the winter, we'd bundle up and just stay up there for hours."

"Yeah.. I miss those days." Brittany smiled at the memories. "I miss him." Brittany swallowed hard. She didn't want to get all choked up when the party was going on. "Are we still going back to Lima for Christmas?"

"If you want to. My family is going away for Christmas so it'll just be your family. Unless you just want to go alone."

"No! I need you there with me." Brittany said desperately as she clung tighter to Santana.

"Okay. Then we'll go. Together."

It was quiet again. Both unsure of what to say again.

"Santana I'm sor-" Brittany started to say but suddenly Mercedes barged into the room.

"There you two are! What the hell are you doing in here? Get your asses back out there. We're having a sing off. I need my Troubletones stat!"

Mercedes ran out leaving the two sitting there alone again but the door was open. The girls climbed out of bed and headed towards the door when Brittany grabbed Santana's wrist and pulled her close to her. Brittany kissed her deeply while firmly holding her waist. Santana's hands landed on both sides of Brittany's chin.

"Whoa." Santana said as the kiss broke. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to show you how much I love you." the blonde said smiling down at the brunette. "Come on. Apparently we got some singing to do."

Santana chuckled and Brittany grabbed her hand leading her out to party.

As the next few days passed, Brittany opened up more and more. Letting Santana know how she was feeling. Really feeling. Brittany became more clingy to Santana but she didn't mind. As long as she could be there for her.

The girls decided to go for a walk in Central Park that night. It was so beautiful in the winter time. Everything was decorated and lit up. It was Brittany's favorite time of year. They walked stopping every so often to look at something pretty. Just being two girls in love during Christmas. Their trip was cut short when it started to down pour. They ran back to their apartment laughing as they stumbled in. They were both soaked but they couldn't stop laughing. Brittany pulled Santana in close and passionately kissed her. Things were starting to get heated and Santana was expecting Brittany to pull away but she didn't. Instead she lead them to their bedroom their lips never leaving each other's.

When they got to their bedroom, Brittany upzipped Santana's coat and pushed it off of her letting it fall to the ground. She reached for the hem of the brunette's shirt and tugged it off of her.

"Britt." Santana said pulling out of the kiss. "Are you sure? We don't have to."

Brittany reattached their lips and then pulled her shirt over her head. "No. It's okay." She looked Santana in the eyes. "I want to." Brittany palmed the brunette's breasted through her bra illiciting a moan from her. Brittany smiled into the kiss. "I've missed this." Brittany unclasped the Latina's bra and Santana followed suit unclasped Brittany's as well. The blonde latched her lips on the brunette's neck kissing down to her breasts flicking her tongue over her nipples. Santana moaned loudly. Brittany moved her hand from her girlfriend's waist and down to her core cupping it through her soaked jeans.

"Oh, God!" Santana moaned. "I need you now." Santana undid her belt and her button and quickly removed her jeans. Then did the same to Brittany's so they were just in their panties. Brittany moved them backwards and lowered Santana to the bed before straddling her. She moved her hand down her stomach and into the waistband of her panties running her fingers through her panties.

"God baby. You're so wet." Brittany said as Santana whimpered. Brittany rubbed Santana's clit as the Latina moaned loudly and desperately.

"Oh god Britt.. I'm gonna come."

"No!" Brittany stopped moving her hand and removed it from Santana's panties. "Not yet. I need to taste you. I've missed your taste too much." Santana started to take her panties off when Brittany stopped her. "Allow me." Brittany smirked and kissed Santana deeply then moved her tongue lower and lower before reaching the waistband of her panties. She then proceeded to pull them off with nothing but her teeth. Santana moaned.

"Oh. My. God. That was so hot." Santana said as she panted. Brittany ran her finger through the Latina's folds and then brought it to her mouth licking the sticky wetness off her finger. Santana moaned louder. She could come right now just watching her.

"You taste so good. Tell me you want me."

"I want you." Santana was still panting and moaning loudly.

"Tell me how you want me."

"I want you to eat me. Please eat me."

"Mmm my pleasure."

Brittany dove her tongue into Santana's center causing her to buck her hips into the blonde's face. She loved when Brittany played like this is bed. It was so hot. The blonde lapped her folds and flicked her tongue at her clit before sucking on it. Something that drove the latina crazy.

"Don't stop. I'm so close."

Brittany entered two fingers into the Latina as she continued sucking on the sensitive nub. She thrusted harder and harder as she felt Santana's walls clamp down on her. One last flick over her clit was all it took to send the Latina over the edge. She panted rapidly into the blonde's chest as she came down from her high. She found Brittany's lips and hungrily kissed them while flipping them so she was on top. She put one leg in between them as she rocked into Brittany.

"God San." Brittany moaned out. It was pure ecstacy. Her core throbbed as Santana rocked into her. Her breathing became heavier and the Latina knew exactly what she needed. She ran two fingers through her soaked folds causing Brittany to moan her name loudly. She picked up the pace as Brittany's moans became more desperate. Brittany's hips bucked up and Santana took that as a sign that she wanted her fingers inside of her. She placed her two fingers inside Brittany who let out a wild moan. She was getting close. She could feel it. Santana thrusted hard and fast into her as she felt her start to clamp down on her. Everything was perfect, just like old times until Brittany grabbed Santana's wrist causing her to stop.

"Wait. Stop. Stop!" Brittany said desperately.

"Baby, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Brittany went still. It was like she was paralyzed again. She tried to speak but nothing came out.

"Baby, talk to me. What's wrong?" Santana said calmly as she stroked her cheek with her free hand.

Brittany was breathing rapidly. Her walls around Santana's fingers were clutching together but it wasn't because she was close to orgasm. Tears were starting to form in the blonde's eyes.

"I'm scared." Brittany finally choked out.

"I'm right here." Santana said as she continued to stroke Brittany's cheek. Brittany closed her eyes. "Baby, look at me." Brittany opened her eyes looking deeply into Santana's. "We can stop. But I promise you, I'm not letting you go. I'll be right here. I'll be whatever you need. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"I know. I'm just.. scared."

"Of what exactly?"

Brittany was deep in thought for a moment but finally spoke. "I'm scared I can't handle it all."

"Baby, you're the strongest person I know. And it's okay to be weak sometimes. Even the strongest people have their weak moments. You can do this. I believe in you. I'm right here, Britt. Lean on me. Let me in. Let me take care of you."

Brittany took a deep breath and closed her eyes she exhaled slowly and let her eyes open back up. "Okay. But.. will you hold my hand just in case?"

Santana didn't hesitate. She removed her hand from the blonde's cheek and interwined it with Brittany's squeezing it tightly to let her know she was there. "Relax, baby."

Brittany breathed in and out slowly to relax as Santana started to thrust again slowly as first but then faster as she felt Brittany fully relax. Brittany moaned.

"Faster, San. I'm almost there." Santana moved her hand as fast as she could and used her thumb to flick over her clit. The last motion caused to blonde to orgasm. Her body shook and she clung to Santana like her life depended on it as she rode out the orgasm. However instead of her breathing evening out, it picked up. Santana looked into her eyes and saw the tears threatening to fall. She could tell Brittany was trying everything she could to stop them. She removed her fingers from inside Brittany and cupped her cheek.

"Let go, baby. Let it out. It's okay." Santana said quietly as she stroked her cheek and squeezed her hand. And with that, Brittany let out a strangled cry as the tears rushed out of her eyes. Santana peppered kissed over her cheeks as she slid off Brittany and flipped them so Brittany was laying on top of Santana. Brittany clung tightly to Santana burying her face in the crook of her neck as violent sobs racked through her entire body. Santana clung tight to her with one arm and used the other to rub her back soothingly while cooing in her ear.

"S-san..tan..a" Brittany cried out.

"Shhh. I'm right here. Just cry, baby. It's okay."

Brittany continued to inconsonably sob for about two hours before exhausting herself and falling asleep. Santana just held her until she was certain she was asleep and then drifted off to sleep herself.

The next morning Brittany awoke peeling her eyes open which were glued shut from crying. She was still clung tight to Santana who was awake and rubbing her back. The blonde felt surprisingly relieved although she didn't want to move from Santana's arms. She felt safe there.

"Morning." Santana whispered kissing the top of her head.

"Hi." Brittany replied shakily.

"Are you okay?"

Brittany sighed. "Yeah. I feel relieved actually." Brittany snuggled closer to Santana. "Thank you. For taking care of me."

"Aww baby of course. I love you."

"I love you, Santana. So much."

Brittany moved to gently kiss Santana's lips. The kiss was slow and passionate both just trying to be as gentle as possible. Brittany snuggled back into Santana and sighed deeply.

"I have to go to work today for a few hours. Are you going to be okay?" Santana asked after she kissed the blonde's forehead.

"Yeah. I'll be okay."

"Okay." Santana bit her lip. "You'd tell me if you weren't, right?"

Brittany nodded before answering. "Yeah. I'll be okay. I'm just really drained right now but I'll be okay." Brittany lifted her head to look Santana in the eyes. "Don't worry."

"I'll always worry."

Brittany smiled and pecked her girlfriends lips. "Go get ready."

Santana slid out from under Brittany and got out of bed. Brittany had forgotten that they were still naked from the night before. She smiled as she watched her girlfriend walk around their room nude.

"What are you staring at?" Santana said after she realized Brittany had been watching her.

Brittany blushed. "My hot sexy girlfriend." the blonde replied winking.

Santana chuckled. "Are you trying to get me to call in sick?"

The blonde laughed in response which caused Santana to laugh too. "Go get ready hot stuff."

Santana smiled and then grabbed her things and went to take a shower so she could go to work.

A few hours later Brittany went out for a run and then came home and jumped in the shower. She was still struggling with everything but she was just trying to keep herself busy while Santana was at work. Quinn texted her asking if she wanted to meet up for lunch with her and Mercedes. Even though she didn't really want to go, she drug herself out with them. She left Santana a note saying that she was out with Quinn and Mercedes being that the brunette was getting off work very shortly.

They met up at a small diner right down the street from Brittany and Santana's apartment. Brittany sat next to Quinn in the booth and they ordered when the waitress came over. The table next to them sat a man and a little girl. She had blonde hair and blue eyes much like Brittany. The three girls chatted about their holiday plans. Christmas was next week. Brittany told them that her and Santana were headed to Lima in a couple days. Quinn and Mercedes continued to talk about the holidays whist Brittany zoned out, staring at the daughter and father next to them. They resembled her and her dad so closely that she couldn't tear her eyes away. What tore her out of her daze finally was her phone buzzing her pocket. It was a text from Santana.

_Hey baby. How's lunch?_

_It's okay._

_How are you holding up?_

Brittany didn't know how to reply. She'd been okay all day but now seeing the father-daughter next her brought up difficult feelings. She started to feel like she just needed to get out of there. She just wanted to be with Santana right now but she didn't want to be rude. Her phone buzzed again.

_Britt?_

_Sorry. I just really need you right now but I don't want to be rude._

_Baby, just tell them you have to go and come home._

"I have to go."

Quinn and Mercedes stopped talking and looked at the blonde.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked reaching for her hand.

"Yeah I, um, I just need Santana right now. I'm sorry."

"Honey, it's fine. Go."

"Okay. Um did you want some money for the check?"

"Don't worry about it. We got it. Go home Brittany." Mercedes said.

Brittany stood up and her phone buzzed again.

_Baby, do you want me to come to you?_

_No. I'm leaving. Stay where you are. I just need you._

_What do you need, Britt? I'm here._

_To be in your arms._

Brittany stuffed her phone back in her pocket and walked the block and a half back to their apartment. She was fighting having a meltdown and she knew that if she saw Santana, everything would be okay. When she walked into the apartment she saw Santana laying down on the couch. She took off her coat and scarf and walked over to her. Santana didn't say anything. She just opened her arms and scooted back as far as she could go on the couch inviting Brittany to lay in her arms. Brittany lay down and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend burying her face in the crook of her neck. She sighed in relief as Santana wrapped her arms around her tightly and peppered kisses to her temple.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked quietly.

Brittany nodded and nuzzled her face in her neck. "I am now."

They laid in silence for over an hour just holding each other. Brittany felt content and safe. Santana was just happy that she could finally take care of her.

A couple days passed and Brittany had stayed clung to Santana. Santana didn't mind because she was finally being open about how she was feeling and what she needed. They spent the days tangled in each other's arms and the nights clung tight to each other. Brittany would occasionally start to sob in her sleep but Santana was right there to comfort her and calm her down. Brittany was improving day by day but some subjects were still a sore topic.

It was two days before Christmas and the girls were headed back to Lima for the holidays. They weren't expected to be back until after New Years. They caught there plane and landed in Lima where they were greeted by Brittany's mom, Susan. They exchanged hugs and got their luggage before getting in the car and leaving the airport for Brittany's house.

As they entered the Pierce residence, both girls took their time taking it all in. It was like a time capsule. Everything was still the same with the exception of the holiday decorations and the Christmas tree. It felt like it did when they were in high school and Santana would come over on Friday's and take Brittany out of their date and then sleep over.

"Brittany! Santana!" a little blonde who resembled Brittany called out running down the stairs and into both of the girls arms.

"Katie!" Brittany smiled.

"Gosh Little P, you need to stop growing!" Santana pulled the small blonde back by her shoulders and took her in. "So you're about 28 now, is it?"

Katie giggled and playfully slapped Santana's arm. "I'm 12 actually."

"Katie, honey, why don't you help the girls upstairs?"

"Okay, mom!"

Katie drug one of her sister's bags up the stairs and Santana and Brittany followed her to the blonde's old bedroom. Everything was still the same. Again, it felt like a time capsule. Santana smiled at the memories they shared in this room. Katie dropped the bag on the ground and dove onto Brittany's bed.

"Hey! Do you guys want to watch a movie? I can make popcorn!"

Santana and Brittany giggled. "Calm down little me. Maybe later. We just want to get settled in first. Why don't you go help mom with dinner?" Brittany said still giggling joining her sister on the bed followed by Santana.

"Okay." The little blonde hopped off the bed and headed to the door. Before she exited she turned around looked at Brittany. "She still cries sometimes, you know. Not as much anymore but I'm glad you're here because sometimes it's too sad and you never get sad."

Brittany gave her sister a half smile before Katie left the room. They sat in silence for a moment. Brittany was in a daze staring at the doorway and finally Santana spoke.

"Britt.." the brunette said so softly that she was unsure if the blonde could hear her. She did though. Without looking at the Latina, Brittany searched for her hand and Santana got the hint and interwined their fingers. Brittany clutched her hand for dear life as she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Santana turned her head and planted a soft kiss on Brittany's shoulder. She placed her other hand over their interwined fingers and ran her thumb soothingly over it.

"Are you okay?" Santana said just above a whisper.

Brittany opened her eyes and turned her head to look at the Latina before nodding. "Yeah. I just-" Brittany was interuppted by her sister storming in.

"Mom said to come downstairs. We're decorating cookies." Katie said excitedly.

"Be there in a minute." Brittany said a little shakey.

The pair stood up hands still locked tightly together as Brittany led them out. Before Brittany walked out, Santana tugged on her hand pulling her back before she engulfed her in a hug. Brittany hugged back tightly as she closed her eyes and sighed.

"I'm here, Britt. Remember that, okay?" Santana felt Brittany nod against her shoulder and pulled her back. Brittany leaned in and connected their lips, kissing her girlfriend softly.

"I love you." Brittany whispered when she pulled back and her lips her only inches from Santana's.

Santana pecked the blonde's lips before replying. "I love YOU." Santana said smiling back at Brittany as she interwined their fingers again. "Come on. Let's go decorate some cookies. I call the snowman."

Brittany chuckled and followed Brittany down the stairs.

Christmas Eve.

Santana and Brittany were getting ready to go to Santana's parent's for dinner. Santana had a tight red dress on with a black vest and black heels. Brittany was wearing a Christmas sweater, black pants, and black boots. They finished getting ready and made their way downstairs to say goodbye to Mrs. Pierce for the night only to find her holding her late husband's stocking with tears in her eyes. Brittany stopped moving and looked over at Santana. They walked over to the couch and Brittany sat down next to her Mom.

"Mom, are you okay?" Brittany asked softly.

"Oh, yes dear. I was just remembering." Mrs. Pierce replied while smiling forcefully.

"Mom.."

Mrs. Pierce took in a deep breath before speaking. "You girls look beautiful. Have fun! Santana, say hello to your parents for me!"

"I will." Santana said smiling weaking at her.

"Um, San, can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Brittany asked standing up so she was in front of the Latina.

"Yeah, sure."

Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and led her to the forier.

"I can't go with you tonight. I need to stay here with my mom and make sure she's okay." Brittany said just above a whisper.

Santana nodded. "I understand. I'll call my parents and tell them we're staying here tonight."

"No, San. You go. Be with your family. I'll be okay."

Santana shook her head. "No, Britt. I'm staying with you. They'll understand."

"Santana, please. Go. Please."

Santana was silent for a minute. She stood there locking eyes with the blonde before answering. "Okay, fine. But promise me you'll call me if you need me."

"I promise, San. Now go!"

Santana smiled before leaning in and kissing Brittany softly. "I'll just be a few hours. I'll keep my phone with me so you can call or text me if you need you. You can also call my house phone. You have my parent's cells right? I can write them-"

"Santana." Santana stopped speaking and Brittany grabbed both of her hands. "I'll be okay. Now go." Brittany added laughing slightly.

"Okay, okay. I'm going." Santana pressed her lips to Brittany's quickly and headed out the door. Before she closed the door behind her she whipped back around. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Brittany blew her a kiss and then watched her girlfriend walk to her car and then she closed the front door and walked back into the living room.

"Hey mom. Do you want tea?"

"I thought you were leaving. Where'd Santana go?"

"I'm staying. Santana went to her parents. It's just you, me and Katie."

"Why aren't you going with her? Don't tell me it's because of me. I'm okay, honey. You should go."

"Mom, stop. I'm staying. That's final. Now, do you want some tea?"

Mrs. Pierce sighed defeatedly. "Sure. Tea would be great."

Brittany smiled and kissed her mom on the cheek before going to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

Santana arrived at her parent's house. She loved the holidays at her house. It was always jolly and warm. Everyone would sing carols and drink egg nog. The whole outside of the house was lit up with lights and there was Santa and his sleigh. Her dad worked alot so the holidays were really the only time she really got to spend time with him.

Tonight it was just Santana and her parents. She walked in and they both over throwing their arms around her. They settled down and Santana told them about New York and Brittany. She told them about her job and also Quinn and Mercedes. If Santana was thankful for anything, it was her parents always being incredibly supportive. They loved Brittany and were fully behind her when she decided that college wasn't for her and she wanted to move to NY. Just as they were about to sit down for dinner, there was a knock at the door. Santana's mother got up to answer it.

"Hi Mami."

"Hola, Maribel."

Santana knew that voice. It couldn't be. Oh, no. It was.

"Hola, Mami." Santana's father stood and greeted the elder woman.

The elder woman turned to Santana, looking her up and down not speaking.

"A-Abuela." Santana said shakily. They stared at each other for a moment, none of them speaking.

"Is dinner ready?" She said turning away from Santana to her mother.

"Yes, Mami. Just in time. Come. Let's eat." Santana's mother said taking her Abuela's arm and leading her into the dining room.

Santana's heart raced. She didn't expect to see her tonight. She didn't even acknowledge her. Not that Santana expected her to being that the last time they'd spoken was when she came out to her and her Abuela kicked her out. Even though that was years ago, it still stung. Santana closed her eyes while taking a deep breath before joining everyone at the table.

Santana ate in silence. Actually, she barely ate. Seeing her Abuela took her appetite away. She was desperately wishing that Brittany was here with her. She needed her. Speaking of Brittany, Santana pulled her phone out of her bra while no one was looking and checked to see if Brittany had called or texted her. To her disappointment, she hadn't.

"Mija, not at the table." Santana's mother said warningly.

"Sorry, mom. Just checking to see if Britt called." Santana placed her phone in her lap and smiled at her mother.

"Oh, that's okay baby. Make sure you tell her we missed her and don't let me forget to send you home with a plate for her."

"I will and I'm sure she'd like that."

Santana's Abuela was muttering something in Spanish under her breath.

"What's that, Mami?" Maribel said before taking a sip of her wine.

"I can't believe you. Allowing this filth. Allowing her to live in sin!"

"Not now, Mami. Please don't do this." Santana's mother said as she shook her head.

Santana froze. It was like she just shut down. Her Abuela started yelling in Spanish as the Latina sunk in her chair unable to defend herself.

"ENOUGH!" Mr. Lopez yelled as he slammed his fist onto the table startling everyone. "You will not come into my house and insult my daughter. She has worked her ass off to get to where she is. Her and Brittany have built a life together in New York and I've never seen Santana so happy. So leave her alone." Everybody was silent for several minutes.

"When you say built a life together, you mean live together?" Santana's abuela said harshly.

"Mami, please. Drop it." Maribel said softly staring down at her plate.

"I WILL NOT."

"Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go."

"Mija, no. Sit."

"No, it's fine. I have to go check on Brittany, my GIRLFRIEND anyways." She ended glaring at her Abuela. "Thanks for dinner, guys. I love you." Santana hugged her mother and father and then grabbed her coat and walked out the door. She stopped and took a deep breath before walking to her car and getting in it, driving away. Tears were threatening to fall the instant she got in her car. She desperately tried to hold them in but she eventually cracked. She pulled over allowing herself to cry a little. After a couple minutes she got herself together and fixed her makeup. She had to be strong for Brittany. Brittany needed her right now not the other way around.

She arrived back at the Pierce residence and let herself in. It was extremely quiet. She spotted the blonde draping a blanket over Mrs. Pierce who was asleep on the couch. Brittany put her index finger up to her lips as a sign to be quiet before walking over to the Latina.

"What are you doing home so early?" Brittany whispered.

"I.. missed you." Brittany knew that was a lie.

"Let's go upstairs."

Santana and Brittany made their way upstairs to Brittany's room. Santana closed the door behind her and engulfed Brittany in a tight hug.

"I missed you." The Latina whispered.

"I missed you, too." Brittany pulled back and locked eyes with Santana. "Now, tell me why you were crying."

Santana looked at her shocked for a split second forgetting how well Brittany knew her. "I wasn't."

"San, don't lie. I can see it in your eyes. What happened, baby?"

"Really, Britt. I'm fine." Santana said walking away and facing the opposite direction.

"San, please. Tell me. I know something's wrong." Brittany walked over to the Latina and turned her around. She had tears streaming down her face.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." She said as she tried to fight back the tears.

"No, you're not. Come here." Brittany pulled the Latina into her wrapping her arms around her upper back. "Baby, what happened?"

Santana pulled out of the embrace and shook her head. "Nothing I'm okay. It's fine." She took several steps backwards making a big gap between them.

"San, it's okay to be upset."

"But I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

"I'm okay, baby. Let me take care of you for once, okay?"

Santana tried hard to fight the tears again but eventually gave in and broke down crying. She walked straight into Brittany's arms and cried into her chest. Brittany tightly wrapped her arms around her and rubbed her back up and down to comfort her. It didn't take long for the brunette to calm down. Brittany cupped her cheeks and pushed her back before she peppered kisses all over her face and wiped her tears.

"Let me get you out of that dress." Brittany unzipped Santana's dress and tugged it off then unclasped her bra and pulled that off as well. Santana took off her heels as Brittany grabbed her a t-shirt and shorts as well as getting changed herself. She slipped the t-shirt over her girlfriends head and helped Santana step into the shorts. She then led her over to the bed where they sat on the edge and Brittany wrapped her arm around her.

"Tell me what happened." Brittany said softly as she ran her fingers through her girlfriend's arm.

Santana let out a shakey breath before speaking. "Abuela showed up. She ignored me at first and then she just started saying horrible things. I couldn't sit there and listen to her anymore so I left." Brittany moved her hand to Santana's arm and started rubbing it up and down while pulling the Latina to lay on her shoulder. "I know it shouldn't still bother me but it does. And she just kept yelling and I just totally shut down. All I could think about was how bad I needed you."

Brittany moved away from Santana and scooted up against the headboard. She opened her legs in a v shape followed by her arms. "Come here." Santana crawled over and lay flush against the blonde burying her face in the crook of her neck. "It's okay to need me, San. I know it's been crazy but I'm still always here for you."

Santana nodded. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Santana fell asleep almost instantly. Brittany stroked her hair and listened to her breathe for a while before falling asleep with Santana still on top of her.

The next day was Christmas. Both girls were still clung to each other but Santana was cuddled into Brittany's side instead of on top of her. They were both still sound asleep when someone barged in Brittany's room and jumped on them.

"Wake up! It's Christmas!" Katie yelled shaking Santana and Brittany.

"Katie, go away! I'm sleeping!" Brittany grumbled out pulling the Latina closer.

"NO!" Katie got off the bed and pulled the blankets off of them. They both groaned. "Get up! Get dressed and come downstairs!"

"Okay, fine. I'll be down in a minute. Now go away!"

Katie turned on her heel and walked out the door shutting it behind her.

"Sorry, babe." Brittany said softly to Santana who was rubbing her eyes.

"It's okay." Santana said through a yawn.

Brittany pulled Santana closer and entangled their legs and rubbing her back. "Are you okay, baby?"

Santana nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for taking care of me last night."

"Of course. Merry Christmas, baby." Brittany leaned in and kissed the Latina on the lips.

"Merry Christmas."

Brittany pulled away from Santana and leaned off her bed searching for something. "Britt, what are you doing?" Santana asked chuckling slightly.

"Nothinnngggg." Brittany turned back to Santana and held up mistletoe. "Oh, look mistletoe."

Santana laughed and then leaned in and kissed Brittany quickly.

"What was that?" Brittany asked.

"A kiss?"

"That wasn't a kiss."

Santana chuckled and then leaned in again kissing Brittany longer and more passionately.

"That was better."

"Better? That was a damn good kiss!"

Brittany moved to straddle the Latina and leaned down so she was almost touching her lips with hers. "I'll show you a good kiss." Brittany took Santana's bottom lip and kissed her hungrily. She swiped her tongue against the Latina's lips to which Santana granted access to and Brittany slipped her tongue inside. She massaged her tongue with the Latina's and Santana moaned into the kiss. Brittany broke the kiss and started to lean back when Santana cupped her cheeks and pulled her back down kissing her more deeply. Brittany cupped Santana's breast illiciting a moan from her and then began moving her hand down her body slowly. She passed her abs and felt her shorts as she began to slid her hand under the waistband when Katie yelled out.

"Brittany! Santana! Get down here now!"

Brittany collapsed onto the Latina and groaned before yelling back. "Coming!"

"Mmmm. Not quite." Santana said smirking at the blonde.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay. Let's get dressed."

The four of them ate breakfast and then exchanged gifts. Brittany's mom got the girls matching scarves and gloves, Brittany and Santana got Mrs. Pierce a necklace with Brittany and Katie's birthstone in it, Katie got the girls a huge candy stash, and Santana and Brittany got Katie a Kindle Fire.

"Okay. My turn!" Brittany said as she handed Santana a present. Santana unwrapped it to reveal that it was a large book with "Santana & Brittany" on the cover. "It's a scrapbook." Santana smiled widely at Brittany. The blonde opened up to a page. "See. Here's part of our Cheerios uniform and here's the playlist I made you for Valentine's Day."

"Babe! Thank you!" Santana said leaning in and placing a kiss on the blonde's lips.

"You're welcome."

"Eww. Gross." Katie said as she made a grossed out face.

"Oh, I guess you don't want your Kindle then." Brittany said leaning over in attempt to grab it out of Katie's hands.

Katie pulled it back. "No! I do! I'm sorry! I take it back!" Everyone laughed and Brittany playfully poked Katie's stomach causing her to giggle.

"Now my turn." Santana said as she handed Brittany a wrapped gift. "Be careful. It's fragile."

Brittany tore it open and gasped placing her hand on over her mouth. It was a picture of Brittany and her dad at Disney World when Brittany was five. Brittany was on her dad's shoulders holding onto his chin while smiling and wearing Mickey Mouse ears. Tears streamed down Brittany's face as she ran over fingers over the picture. Santana scooted closer to the blonde and rubbed her back to soothe her.

"You okay?" Santana asked quietly.

Brittany closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I love it. Thank you so much." The blonde wrapped her arms around Santana and held her tightly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

That night, Santana and Brittany were curled up on the couch by the fire drinking hot cocoa. Santana was sitting between Brittany's legs leaning back on the blonde's chest.

"How are you doing Britt? Like for real."

"I'm okay. Some moments are hard but I have you and that gets me through it."

"I love you, Britt."

"I love you, too."

There was a long pause while Brittany thought out her next statement.

"I'm sorry for shutting you out, San. And just for everything I've put you through. I don't know if I've really apologized for it all but I'm rea-."

"Shhhh." Santana interrupted as she sat up and turned to face Brittany. She took the blonde's face in her hands who was looking down. "Brittany, look at me." Brittany hesitantly looked at the brunette. "You did apologize. It's okay, babe. Yeah, it sucked but it's just a part of grieving. The important thing is that you're getting better. You opened up to me and you've been open ever since."

Brittany pulled Santana into her chest. "San, will you go somewhere with me tomorrow? There's something I need to do but I need you with me."

"Of course baby. Whatever you need." Santana nodded and leaned up and kissed Brittany. "Want to go to bed?"

Brittany nodded and Santana got up and held out her hand for blonde. They went upstairs and as soon as Santana shut the door, Brittany spun her around and kissed her deeply much like the kiss earlier.

"Whoa. Britt.." Santana said when the kiss broke.

"Make love to me." Brittany whispered stroking the Latina's cheek.

"Britt.. are you sure?" the brunette asked hesitantly.

Brittany nodded and then pulled Santana in for another kiss. Brittany grabbed the hem of the brunette's shirt and tugged it off. Santana did the same. The blonde unclasped Santana's bra letting it fall to the floor as Santana once again did the same following Brittany's lead. They brought their bare chests together just feeling each other's bodies on one another's.

"Pants." Brittany said through the kiss as she had been trying to get them unbuttoned but couldn't. Santana undid her pants and pulled them off as well as her underwear. At the same time, Brittany took her pants and underwear off too. The blonde pushed Santana backwards towards the bed and they both fell back on it.

Brittany began kissing down Santana's neck and then to breasts sucking on her nipples causing the Latina to moan and buck her hips upwards.

"Brittany... please."

Brittany moved her hand down the Latina's body and ran her fingers through her folds. "Oh my god, baby. You're literally dripping."

"It's been awhile." Santana panted out.

"Sorry, baby. More for me to eat tonight though." Brittany smirked before kissing the Latina on the lips then down her body to her throbbing center where she instantly dove in not wanting to tease her. Santana moaned as Brittany worked her tongue through her folds.

"Baby, I'm close already."

Brittany took Santana's nub of nerves in her mouth and sucked it as the Latina started to shake. She flicked her tongue over the sensitive nub and Santana saw stars. Brittany collapsed on Santana both panting heavily. After a couple minutes, Brittany straddled the Latina and moved their legs in a better position so that their cores were touching. Brittany began rocking into the Latina who also began rocking back. As they got into a steady rythum, Brittany began panting harder.

"San, are you close because I'm gonna.." Brittany moaned.

"Come, Britt. I'm gonna..."

One last thrust into each other and they both collapsed breathing heavily. Brittany steadied her breathing and closed her eyes. She expected tears but all she felt was relief. There was no pain or any flood of emotions.

"Britt, are you okay?" Santana asked wrapping her arms around her.

"Yeah. I'm okay. I'm really okay." Brittany smiled and kissed Santana who hugged her tighter.

The next day, the girls got up and headed out. They pulled up to the local cemetary and got out of the car. They met at the hood and Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and led them over to a headstone. It was her father's head stone. Brittany's eyes became teary and she took a deep breath.

"You okay?" Santana asked quietly looking over at the blonde.

"Yeah." Brittany nodded. "Um, could you just give us a minute?"

Santana nodded and smilely weakly at her. "Of course. I'll be right over there if you need me." Santana kissed Brittany on the cheek and left her with her thoughts.

Brittany took another deep breath before crouching down so she was eye level with the headstone. "Hey, Dad. I know that it's been awhile since I was here but I figured you probably weren't here anyways." Brittany closed her eyes as a few tears trickled out. "I miss you, Daddy. I feel so lost without you. I don't know what to do anymore. Everything just feels so uncertain. I feel like I'm losing you. In memories I mean. I don't remember what you smell like and sometimes it's hard for me to picture your smile. I'm scared I'm forgetting about you. I'm scared of going on without you. But I have to. I have to get on with my life. I know that's what you would want so I'm doing it for you. And for Santana. She's been so incredible through this whole thing. I don't think I could have done it without her. I came here to say goodbye but I have one last favor to ask you. Can you look out for mom and Katie? I know they're strong but they still miss you. So can you do that for me?" Brittany wiped the tears away and nodded. "Okay. Well, I'm gonna go now. I love you so much." Brittany placed her hand on the headstone. "Goodbye, Daddy." She whispered before standing up.

"San." Brittany called out not taking her eyes off the stone. Santana walked over to her and grabbed her by the shoulders turning her so she was facing her. She used the pads of her thumbs to wipe the tears away and pulled her in for a hug. Brittany instantly melted into her as Santana rubbed her back soothingly.

"San..." Brittany said weakly.

"Hmmm?"

"I want to go home."

Santana pulled out of the embrace locking eyes with the blonde. She smiled and took Brittany's hand in hers. "Okay, let's go back to the house." Santana turned to walk away but Brittany pulled her back.

"No, I mean like home home. New York home."

Santana stepped closer to the blonde. "Britt, are you sure? I mean we've only been here a few days and what about your mom?"

"My mom will be okay. I want to get back to my old life. I NEED to get back to my old life. Being here just reminds me of how much I don't belong here. I need to be out there doing what I do. Being with you. Me, you, and the city. That's where I belong."

"Okay. We can leave tomorrow if you want."

Brittany nodded. "Okay."

"I'm proud of you, you know."

"You were listening?"

"A little." Santana grabbed Brittany's hand and interwined their fingers. "Come on."

**A/N - Just wanted to add a little side note here that I didn't forget about Brittany's promotion. There's two chapters left and you'll find out what exactly happened with her job. :)**


	7. Acceptance

**A/N - OMG I'm sorry this took forever to post. I was trying to figure out what order I wanted this to go in and such. But some better times! :) Enjoy!**

**Acceptance**

Santana and Brittany arrived back in New York late the next day after spending all day with their families. They were exhausted from the flight.

"Oh my god I'm so tired. I could sleep for a week." Santana huffed stepping into the apartment.

"Me too. I saw we don't unpack and just go to bed."

"I'm not gonna argue with you on that one."

They walked through the living room to their bedroom where Santana plopped on their bed face down.

"I've missed our bed. I don't want to move." Santana said muffled through the mattress.

Brittany laughed. "San, we have to get changed atleast. Or are you going to sleep in that dress and your fuck me pumps?"

Santana groaned and said something incoherent then proceeded to sit up and take her dress off and heels and underwear and bra and throw them to the side of the bed before slipping under the covers. Brittany shook her head and laughed at her girlfriend. She also stripped down to nothing before climbing in bed with the Latina. She scooted closer and spooned her from behind.

Santana hummed contently before speaking. "If I wasn't so exhausted I would totally jump your bones right now."

Brittany chuckled. "Go to sleep, San."

"Mmkay. G'night."

"Night, San."

Both of them instantly fell asleep molded into each other.

Brittany woke up at 2am to her stomach growling loudly. She groaned and then slipped out of bed, throwing on her robe, and went to the kitchen. She rumaged through the cabinets but they were empty except for expired soup. The fridge was empty as well. When the hell did they last go shopping? The blonde opened the freezer to find it empty except for a pint of chocolate ice cream. She reached in and grabbed it and then opened a drawer to grab a spoon before sitting on a stool at the counter and eating the freezer burnt ice cream. A couple minutes later she heard a noise looked up to see Santana in a robe walking towards here.

"Britt, what are you doing? It's like 2am." Santana said through a yawn.

"Sorry. I'm starving. All we have is ice cream."

Santana sat in the stool next to her and smiled as she watched Brittany eat. After a minute or two she looked into the container and then at Brittany before speaking up. "So... are you going to share or...?"

Brittany smirked at her and then held out a spoonful of ice cream for her which the Latina ate quickly. She then took another bite for herself and then put the spoon down quickly.

"Oh my god. Brain freeze." Santana took this opportunity to grab the ice cream and take another bite. "Whew. Hey! Give it back!" She reached other to grab it from the Latina who pulled it away out of reach. "Santanaaaaaa I'm hungry!"

Santana laughed and then took another bite. "Mine! You snooze you lose." Brittany again tried to get it from her but the Latina stood up so she was further away. Brittany then stood up and started walking towards her as Santana took off running around the counter. "Come and get it!"

"Hey! Come back here!" Brittany yelled running after her. Santana ran into the living room and jumped over the couch. Brittany followed and the two were chasing each other back and forth with the couch inbetween them.

"Oh look. One more bite left." Santana scooped up the last of the ice cream on the spoon and held it up. Then she slowly started bringing it to her mouth when Brittany jumped over the couch and tackled the Latina to the ground. Brittany was on top of Santana as they both laughed hysterically as Brittany grabbed the spoon and ate the last spoonful. They were both panting from running around and laughing, Santana watched Brittany happily lick the spoon clean.

"You're mean." Brittany said as she poked her girlfriend on the nose. "And I'm still hungry."

"Get off of me, you dork."

"Hmmmm nope. You're being punished."

"Oh, really?"

"Yup."

"Okay, fine." Santana started to tickle the blonde who started laughing loudly.

"Santana! Stop!" Brittany said between laughs. Santana flipped them over so she was on top. Brittany was laughing hysterically as the Latina continued to tickle her. She stopped and they locked eyes. Santana pressed her lips to the blonde's giving her a deep kiss. The blonde hummed in approval. When the kiss broke, Santana laid her head down on Brittany's chest. Brittany stroked her hair and sighed contently.

"I haven't laughed like that in a long time." Brittany laughed out.

Santana closed her eyes as a few tears slid out. Brittany didn't notice until she heard a sniffle.

"San, are you crying?" Brittany asked pulling the brunette up and cupping her cheeks. "Hey. What's wrong?"

Santana shook her head before replying. "I've missed you so much."

Brittany pulled the Latina's lips to her and kissed her softly. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm here now." Brittany pulled Santana down and hugged her tightly.

"Will you promise me something, Britt?"

"Anything."

"Promise me that in the future, no matter how hard things get, that you'll talk to me." Santana sat up a little to look the blonde in the eyes. "Promise me that you'll let me take care of you and that you'll let me in your head."

Brittany nodded. "I promise, San."

Brittany leaned up and kissed Santana again. When the kiss broke, Santana yawned.

"Come on, let's go back to sleep." Brittany said as she sat up and pulled the brunette up with her. They went back into their bedroom and slipped back in bed. Santana pulled Brittany into a heated kiss before slipping her tongue in the blonde's mouth. Brittany moved her mouth to Santana's neck and kissed her way down her body.

"Britt, what do you think you're doing?" Santana asked smirking at the blonde.

"Mmmm. I'm still hungry." the blonde smirked while gliding her tongue up the Latina's slit.

The next morning Brittany woke up early. Santana was still asleep in Brittany's arms. The blonde untangled herself from the sleepy brunette, kissed her on the head, and slipped out of bed. She opened her laptop, turned it on, and went straight to her email. There were several emails from her boss, well now ex-boss, asking her to call him. She grabbed her phone and dialed his number.

"Brittany?" the man asked.

"It's me. I'm sorry it's so early."

"No need to be sorry. I'm so glad you called. How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay, thanks."

"Good. That's good to hear. So I was wondering if you could meet with me."

"If it's to fire me yourself, it's okay.. really."

"Don't be silly. Just meet with me. This afternoon work for you?"

"Yeah. This afternoon is fine."

"Great. I'll see you at 3."

"Okay. See you then."

Brittany hung up the phone and then went to her bedroom and changed. She left Santana a note saying she went for a run and then left the apartment.

It felt like she'd been running for hours. Just running wherever her feet led her. It ended up leading her to Mike's apartment building. She stopped and stared at it for a minute before working up the courage to buzz him.

"Who is it?" Mike asked.

"It's Brittany."

"Britt? Come up."

The blonde opened the door and took the elevator up to his floor. She took a deep breathe before knocking lightly. Mike immediately answered.

"Britt.. what are you-"

"I'm sorry."

"Come in." Mike said as he moved so Brittany could come in. Brittany stepped inside his apartment and turned to face him.

"I'm sorry, Mike. For everything. I was trying to deal with everything. Well, actually not deal with it at all."

"Brittany, it's okay. I understand. You don't have to explain."

"So.. you forgive me?"

"Of course."

"Okay." Brittany smiled at him and he returned the smile. "So what are you doing now?"

"Uh, nothing. I just woke up a little while ago."

"Do you want to come for a run with me?"

"Sure. Let me grab my shoes."

Brittany and Mike headed out and ran through Central Park together.

After her run, Brittany returned home to find Santana gone. She had left her a note saying she had some errands to run but would be back. At the bottom, Santana wrote that she made Brittany a pot of coffee for when she got back which made the blonde smile widely.

Brittany stripped out of her clothes and took a long hot shower washing all the sweat from her run off. After she was dressed, she went to the kitchen and make herself some breakfast and poured herself a cup of coffee that her girlfriend had made her.

Brittany was at the door of her boss' office just staring. She was nervous. She didn't know what he wanted or what was going to happen. After taking a much need deep breath, she knocked on his door. She heard the man tell her to come in so she opened the door and stepped in.

"Ah, Brittany. Have a seat, dear." Brittany did as she was told sitting in the seat that was closest to her. He smiled at her and she twiddled her thumbs nervously. "So I'm guessing you're wondering why I asked you here." Brittany smiled and nodded politely. "Well, a couple months ago, I took over another dance studio just down the street. The problem is, I'm losing the choreographer there and I need someone I can trust to take over for them. I want you to take over for them. But it's a little bit more responsibility."

"How do you mean?" Brittany asked softly.

"You know all the choreography you see in music videos?" Brittany nodded. "That's what he does."

"Wait..." Brittany asked furrowing her brows. Her boss nodded.

"I want you to choreograph artist's music videos. Artists like Rihanna, Britney Spears, Beyonce. You'll get a very generous raise and you can use the studio anytime."

Brittany's jaw dropped. "Me?! Why me?"

"You're the best dancer I've seen in years, Brittany. You have a gift. You belong doing something bigger. I believe in you, Brittany. But it's your call. You just have to say yes or no."

"YES!" Brittany yelled jumping out of her seat. "YES! I'LL DO IT!" She jumped over to her boss engulfing him in a surprise hug. "I won't let you down!"

"I know you won't. Now, there are some things I need to go over with you so if you'll please take a seat again we can get started."

After her meeting was over, Brittany raced home but not before stopping to pick up a bottle of champagne. She burst through her apartment door and ran over to the kitchen.

"San!" the blonde yelled as she sifted through the drawers. "Santana!"

"Britt, what's wrong?" Santana asked as she rushed to the blonde.

"Nothing. I just need to open this. We need to celebrate." Santana gave the blonde a questioning look. "I met with my boss. I'm the new music video choreographer at his other studio." Santana was still looking slightly confused. "I'm going to be choreographing music videos for Rihanna and Beyonce and other celebrities."

"Britt, are you serious?" Brittany nodded and a few tears slipped out. "Baby, that's amazing!" Santana rushed over to the blonde kissing all over her face. "I'm so proud of you! I knew you were meant to do huge things!" Santana engulfed her girlfriend in a hug but pulled back when she felt hot tears on her shirt. "Baby... hey.. what is it?"

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm so emotional right now. I'm just so happy. For the first time in forever I feel like it's really gonna be okay."

"It is. I promise." Santana said as she took both of Brittany's hands in her own. She leaned in and kissed the tears away.

"Ugh, okay. No more." Brittany brushed any remaining tears away and fanned her face.

"Champagne?" Santana asked holding up the bottle. Brittany nodded and Santana opened the bottle with ease. She only does it almost everyday at work so she's expert at it. "I'll grab the glasses."

Brittany grabbed her wrist before she could move. "Screw the glasses." The blonde took the bottle out of the Latina's hand and took a large gulp of it. Santana laughed and Brittany handed her the bottle where the Latina mimicked Brittany's action.

Brittany then crashed their lips together while pulling Santana closer by her waist. The blonde ran her tongue against Santana's bottom lip. Santana quickly opened her mouth and then set the bottle on the table before moving her hands to cup the blonde's cheeks. Brittany ran her tongue through the Latina's mouth illiciting a moan from her. Brittany moaned back and ran her hands down her back to her butt giving it a squeeze. Santana moaned in approval and Brittany gripped the backs of the brunette's thighs and hoisted her up on the table. The blonde ran her hands up Santana's shirt cupping her breasts through her bra.

"Britt.." Santana whimpered.

Brittany lifted the brunette's shirt off of her and unclasped her bra letting it fall to the floor. She wasted no time bringing her mouth to one of her nipples sucking it gently. Santana threw her head back in pleasure and moved her hands to the back of Brittany's head tangling her fingers in blonde hair.

"Britt. Bed." Santana panted out.

Brittany unlatched her mouth from Santana's nipple as she looked up at her and shook her head. "I want to do you on this table." the blonde smirked making Santana whimper.

Brittany brought her mouth back to Santana's while fumbling with the button of her jeans which she finally undid and pulled her zipper down. She patted Santana's thigh motioning for her to lift her butt so she could slide to pants and underwear down. Santana obliged still panting heavy. Brittany ran her fingers through her already slick folds.

Santana moaned loudly. "Fuck. Britt. Please."

Brittany pulled away. "Lean back and open your legs wide for me." Santana quickly did as she was told. Brittany didn't waste anytime. She doved her tongue through her folds licking her wet core. She found the sensitive nub and sucked it. Santana was thrashing her head and moaning Brittany's name loudly.

"God, Brittany. I'm close. Don't stop."

Brittany inserted two fingers which went in with ease. She began pumping fast while still sucking on her nub. Santana quickly came undone. Brittany pumped and licked slowly to help ride it out. She removed her fingers from inside Santana and licked them clean.

"Oh my god. That was.." Santana said still trying to catch her breath. "You're amazing." The brunette kissed Brittany's lips slowly before moving her hand to cup the blonde's core. "Mmm feels like somebody's ready for me." Brittany moaned then grabbed Santana and slid her to the edge of the table and lifted her off carrying her to the bedroom.

Brittany came back out a couple minutes later and grabbed the champage off the table and rushed back into the bedroom.

The next night, Santana came home from a long hard day at work. Her entire day was terrible. Just one of those days where everything that could possibly go wrong, went wrong. All she wanted to do was go home, get out of those clothes, curl up next to Brittany, and go to sleep. The apartment was quiet when she stepped in. She figured Brittany was probably working on some routines or something. The Latina took off her coat, hanging it on the coat rack along with her purse. She deeply sighed and rubbed her neck while closing her eyes. Then out of no where she felt two hands poke at her sides.

"Hey!" Brittany squealed.

Santana jumped and placed her hand over her heart. "Holy shit! God, Britt. You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry, baby." Brittany leaned in and gave Santana a peck on the lips. "How was your day?"

Santana shrugged. "It was fine." It wasn't fine. It was stressful and just plain shitty but she really didn't feel like talking about it.

"Just fine?" Brittany furrowed her brows. Something was a little off. "San, are you okay?"

Santana forced a smile and nodded. "I'm okay. I just want to take a shower and get out of these clothes."

Brittany was still looking at her funny but she nodded. "Okay. I'll be watching tv on the couch when you're done."

"Okay."

Santana went to their bedroom, shut the door, and leaned against it. She let out a breathe that she was holding in and closed her eyes. After a minute, she stripped out of her clothes and got in the shower. She let the hot water run down her body. It felt so good on her neck which was sore from all the stress of the day.

30 minutes later, Santana came out in a hoodie and sweatpants. Brittany was curled up on the couch under a blanket watching cartoons. Santana was massaging her sore neck while getting a glass of water from the kitchen so she could take the tylenol the grabbed out of the medicine cabinet. Brittany got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen.

"San, what's wrong?" Brittany asked as she walked towards her girlfriend.

"Just thirsty." The latina replied taking a sip of her water.

"What are you stressed about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you've been rubbing your neck since you got home and that only hurts when you're really stressed about something. And I just saw you take some pain meds so what's got you stressing out?"

"I'm sorry, Britt. I just had a really bad day. That's all."

Brittany pouted her lips. "Aww babe, I'm sorry. What happened?"

"Just everything went wrong, Britt. We ran out of ice, then the waitor didn't show up, the tap broke, and it seems like every damn customer was in a bad mood. And it seemed like I was the only one who was doing something about all of those things. I was trying to serve customers and deal with everything at the same time and I just... I just.." A couple tears fell from the Latina's eyes as she leaned on the counter burying her face in her hands.

"Baby." Brittany walked closer and grabbed Santana's wrists pulling the Latina into her arms. Santana wasn't sobbing. She was just overwhelmed and needed to just let out some of her frustrations. "Come here." Brittany cooed as she wrapped her arms around Santana's waist waist and feeling the latina wrap her arms loosely around the blonde's neck. Brittany placed a few kisses on the brunette's cheek while rubbing her back soothingly. Santana sniffled and then pulled back wiping the tears away.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asked just above a whisper. Santana nodded. "How about I make us some hot cocoa and we can snuggle on the couch?" The brunette nodded again. "Okay, I'll meet you on the couch, baby." The blonde leaned in and kissed Santana slowly on the lips cupping her cheeks lightly.

When the kiss broke, Santana went over to sit on the couch and Brittany stayed in the kitchen to make them some hot cocoa. A couple minutes later, Brittany came out with their hot cocoa setting them on the coffee table to cool down a little. The blonde peeked out the window and saw it snowing grinning widely as she got an idea.

"I have an idea but you have to get up for a sec." Brittany said turning around to face the latina who was giving her a questioning look. Santana got up a moment later and the blonde quickly moved the couch over to the balcony window. She also figured she could pull the coffee table over as well. "Okay, you can sit back down baby." Santana who had the blanket wrapped around her, sat back down on the couch bringing her knees up to her chest. Brittany turned the lights off and joined the latina on the couch sitting next to her. She handed Santana her hot cocoa and they both took a sip. The view was gorgeous from the balcony. New York City in the winter was always pretty. It felt really romantic also. "It's so beautiful."

"Yeah. It is."

"How's your neck?" Brittany asked as she reached out and massaged it lightly.

"It still hurts."

"I'm gonna get you some ice. That'll make it feel better."

Brittany got up and grabbed a bag of peas from the freezer as well as a paper towel to wrap around it. She came back to the couch and placed it on her girlfriend's neck.

"Is that too cold?"

"No, it feels good."

Santana put her mug back on the coffee table and leaned her whole body into Brittany's side. Brittany put her feet up on the table and put her arm under her girlfriend's knees pulling her legs into her lap. Santana lay her head on the blonde's chest who was still icing her neck for her. The blonde wrapped her free arm around Santana tightly.

"Are you okay, baby?" Brittany asked placing a kiss on top of Santana's head.

Santana nodded sleepily. "Yeah. I just want to be close to you."

"Okay. Are you comfy?" Santana nodded. "You look tired. Want to go to bed?"

The brunette shook her head. "No, it's too pretty out. I just want to stay here."

Brittany nodded. "Kiss me."

Santana turned her head and met Brittany's lips. It was a slow innocent kiss. The kind that always made Santana feel better. When the kiss broke, they both cuddled further into each other.

"I love you." Santana whispered.

"I love you too, baby."

They didn't move from that spot all night. Eventually they both fell asleep cuddled in each other. A position that was surely going to leave them sore in the morning.

Santana woke up the next day to find herself alone. She sighed missing her girlfriend's arms around her. The latina was happy that she had the day off because she didn't think she could handle another repeat of yesterday. She noticed a piece of paper on the pillow next to her and sat up taking the paper in her hands and opened it.

_Hey baby,_  
_I hope you slept okay. I know you had a rough day yesterday and I'm stuck in meetings all day but I made you some pancakes and coffee. Pancakes are in the microwave and I left the coffee on so it'll be hot when you wake up. I love you sooooo much. I'll be home later. If you need me, text me._

_Love you,_  
_Brittany._

Santana smiled at the note. Brittany always knew how to make her feel better. With that, Santana got up and went to the kitchen pouring herself some coffee and taking out the pancakes.

Later on that night, Santana was laying on the couch watching reruns of Law & Order SVU when where was a knock at the door. She groaned and got up slowly making her way to the door. Before she could even greet the person, Quinn and Mercedes walked in passed her.

"We're here to fetch you. Get dressed into something warm. You're coming with us. No questions." Quinn said.

"Wha-"

"No questions. Warm clothes. Go." Mercedes said cutting the latina off.

"Okaaaayyy..."

Santana retreated to her room putting on a pair of jeans, a turtleneck sweater and boots. She went back to the door way and grabbed her coat, hat, gloves, and purse. Quinn and Mercedes pulled her out the door and pulled out a blindfold.

"What the-" Santana questioned.

"Their orders. Not ours. Don't worry, we're not gonna like murder you or anything." Quinn said as she tied the blindfold around the brunette's head.

"Well, that never crossed my mind but it is now. Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see when we get there." Mercedes exclaimed.

"Okay, come on." Quinn grabbed Santana's hand and let her outside to her car where she helped the Latina get in.

The car ride was short and Santana's heart raced. She didn't like being out of control. She wanted to know what the hell was going on. She heard someone open the door and a hand help her out. Mercedes and Quinn guided her for what felt like forever. She heard them whisper to someone and then they guided her more. She was definitely outside because it was freezing. Finally they stopped her and the Latina let out of breath.

"Okay, ready?" Mercedes asked.

"For the love of God, where the hell am I?"

Quinn untied the blindfold to reveal Rockefeller Center Ice Rink. It empty except for a tall blonde in the center of it. Brittany. Santana gasped at the sight.

"Oh, you'll need these." Quinn said handing Santana a pair of ice skates. "Put them on and go get her." Quinn smiled.

Santana smiled widely and quickly removed her boots and put on her skates. She quickly skated out to the blonde wobbling a little bit at first. It's been a couple years since she's skated but she loved it.

"Hey baby." Brittany said softely as she pulled the brunette in closer to her by her waist and kissing her.

"Britt.. what is all this? How did you get the rink all to ourselves?"

"Well, I know you had a bad day yesterday so I just wanted to do something to take your mind off of everything and to show you how much I love you. And my new job has some really awesome perks."

"You're amazing. Do you know that?"

"I know." Brittany smiled and Santana laughed. "And now... GUYS!" Brittany yelled and suddenly Mercedes, Quinn, Rachel, Puck, Sam, Kurt, Blaine, Artie, and Tina all came out. "Hit it."

Sam starts singing.

_Oh her eyes, her eyes_  
_Make the stars look like they're not shining_  
_Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying_

Puck joins in.

_She's so beautiful_  
_And I tell her everyday._

"Skate with me, Santana Lopez?" Brittany asks smiling wide.

"My pleasure." Santana replied.

Brittany takes Santana's hand and they start to skate around the rink.

Just Sam singing again.

_Yeah I know, I know_  
_When I compliment her she won't believe me_  
_And it's so, it's so_  
_Sad to think that she don't see what I see_  
_But everytime she asks me do I look okay_  
_I say_

Blaine starts singing.

_When I see your face_  
_There's not a thing that I would change_  
_Cause you're amazing_  
_Just the way you are_

Artie starts singing.

_And when you smile,_  
_The whole world stops and stares for a while_  
_Cause girl you're amazing_  
_Just the way you are_

Blaine starts singing.

_Her lips, her lips_  
_I could kiss them all day if she'd let me_

Brittany spins to face Santana and leans in to kiss her. Santana blushes and shyly smiles.

Her laugh, her laugh  
She hates but I think it's so sexy  
She's so beautiful

They all sing.

And I tell her everyday.

Kurt sings

_Oh you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change_  
_If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same_

Blaine sings

_So, don't even bother asking if you look okay_  
_You know I'll say_

Mercedes sings.

_When I see your face,_  
_There's not a thing that I would change_  
_Cause you're amazing_  
_Just the way you are_

Rachel sings

_And when you smile_  
_The whole world stops and stares for a while_  
_Cause girl you're amazing_  
_Just the way you are_

_Rachel, Quinn, Tina, and Mercedes sing._

_The way you are_  
_The way you are_  
_Girl you're amazing_  
_Just the way you are_

Brittany and Santana make it around to the group and Brittany grabs a mic. They stop skating and Brittany moves closer to Santana looking deeply into her eyes.

When I see your face  
There's not a thing that I would change  
Cause you're amazing  
Just the way you are

And when you smile,  
The whole world stops and stares for a while  
Cause girl you're amazing  
Just the way you are  
Yeah!

Santana has tears running down her cheeks. Brittany smiles and wipes them away.

"That was amazing, baby."

"I love you, San."

"I love you, too babe. Thank you."

Santana leans in and kisses Brittany on the lips passionately. The brunette cups Brittany's cheeks deepening the kiss.

"Do you think they know we're still here?" Sam asks looking around at everyone. They all laugh.

Santana laughs and pulls away from Brittany. "Thank guys. You were amazing, too."

"Group hug!" Brittany exclaimed. They all come in for a group hug with Santana in the middle. "Now get out of here." Brittany winked.

"We should do breakfast tomorrow!" Tina says and everyone but Santana and Brittany reply yes.

"I don't know... we might be a little... busy." Brittany said smirking at Santana.

"Oh, gross!" Quinn said making a grossed out face.

"I'm so turned on right now." Puck said. Santana hits Puck on the arm. "Ow! What? Come on San, you know you miss this body."

"Ugh! Puck!" Santana said rolling her eyes.

"I'm only messing with you. I've got my woman right here." Puck says putting his arm around Quinn and kissing her on the head.

"Alright, let's go. Anyone want to go grab some food with me and Sam?" Mercedes asked.

"Puck and I are in." Quinn said.

"Me too." Rachel replied.

"Count me in." Tina said.

"You guys coming?" Mercedes asked pointing to Kurt, Blaine, and Artie.

"Wanky." Santana said. Everyone laughs.

"Some things never change. You guys want us to bring you something back?" Quinn asked.

Brittany was kissing Santana's neck. "Mmm no thanks. They don't have what I really want to eat right now."

"Okay! Leaving now!" Quinn said pulling Puck away who was staring at the pair.

"Sam! Let's go!" Mercedes yelled pulling Sam away.

"See you guys later." Rachel said waving bye.

When everyone was gone, Santana laughed before speaking. "You're so bad."

"Bad for you, baby." Santana chuckled and Brittany closed the gap between them taking Santana's bottom lip between hers. "Come on. Let's go home. I'm hungry if you know what I mean." Brittany winked at Santana who laughed.

After making love countless times, the pair were cuddled in bed together. Santana was laying on Brittany's chest as the blonde stroked her hair.

"San, can I ask you something?" Brittany asked nervously.

"Yeah, babe."

"Are you happy?"

"What?" Santana sat up a little to look into the blonde's eyes. "Of course I am. Britt. Where's this coming from?"

"I don't know. I feel like ever since I got my new job you've been a little.. off.."

"I'm happy, Britt. Really. It's just.." the brunette trailed off.

"Just what?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Saaannnn..."

"I don't know how to say it without it coming out wrong."

"Baby, I'm not gonna get mad. Just tell me."

"I guess I just feel a little sad that you have this great thing going and I'm still over here making drinks for drunk assholes. I feel like I should have something going for my career by now."

Brittany pouted. "Well you have your demo. Maybe you should talk to Rachel and see if her agent can do something for you."

Santana laid her head back on the blonde's chest and sighed. "Yeah I guess I could try that."

"Don't be sad, baby." Brittany kissed Santana on the forehead and hugged her tighter. "We'll figure it out."

A couple minutes later they both fell asleep entangled in each other's arms and legs.

A few days later, Santana had a meeting with a record label. She got a hold of Rachel's agent and he set the whole thing up. She went in feeling optimistic but came out feeling worse about everything. He played her demo for about 30 seconds before turning it off and telling her that he's heard her sound a million times. He added that she should just stick to tending bar because she wasn't unique enough. She said that she didn't have it. Santana left feeling defeated. She had tears threatening to fall. She just needed Brittany. She knew the blonde would make her feel better.

Brittany was at home taking a nap. She woke up to hearing the door of her apartment close. A little confused as to why Santana was home so early. The door of their bedroom opened and Santana appeared red eyed and frowning but the blonde hadn't noticed that yet.

"San?" Brittany sat up a little and rubbed her eyes while yawning. "What are you doing home so early?" Santana closed the door and turned around to face the blonde who noticed her on the verge of tears. "San, what happened?" Santana didn't reply. She began crying and crawled her way up to Brittany on the bed and buried her head in her chest laying flush on her. Brittany instantly wrapped her arms around her and peppered kisses on her head. "Shh, it's okay." Brittany pulled the brunette up a little higher so she was now crying into her neck. Santana clung to Brittany tightly never wanting to let go. She was her safe haven. Brittany wiped some of the tears away. "Baby, talk to me."

"It was awful, Britt." Santana cried out. "He told me that I didn't have it and that I should just stick to bartending."

"What?" Brittany began rubbing circles on the brunette's back. "He's an idiot, Santana. Don't listen to him. You're gonna sell millions of records someday. I promise." Santana nodded. "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up and take a nice long hot shower."

"No!" Santana cried out. "I need you. Please just stay here and hold me."

"Okay." Brittany cooed placing a kiss on the brunette's temple. "Okay."

Santana fell asleep a few minutes later followed shortly by the blonde.

An hour later, Santana woke up. She lifted her head slowly which was met by Brittany placing kisses on her cheek.

"Hi." Brittany whispered placing a kiss on the brunette's lips. "Are you okay?"

Santana nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for taking care of me."

"Always." Brittany grabbed one of the Latina's hands and kissed it.

"Do you really think I can do this?"

"I KNOW you can do it, baby." Brittany tucked a stand of hair behind the latina's ear. "Look at all the auditions I've been on. They all said no. You just have to meet the right person."

The Latina nodded. "I'm so proud of you, Britt. And not just for your career. You've grown so much over the past couple months. You've come so far. You're so strong."

"Because of you." Brittany kissed Santana on the lips lightly. "I'm strong because of you. I made it this far because of you, Santana. I couldn't have done any of this without you." Brittany added seriously.

"I'm sure you would have found a way.."

"No." Brittany shook her head and grabbed Santana's other hand. "I had you. Now you have me. It's my turn now."

Santana smiled. "I love you so much. Do you know that?"

"Mmhmm. I do. And I love you very very much. Now let me kiss you and make it all better." Santana leaned in and Brittany closed the gap between them kissing Santana slowly. "All better?" Brittany added when the kiss broke.

"You always make everything better for me." The brunette said softly before leaning in and kissing Brittany again. "I think I can go for that shower now. Will you join me?"

"Absolutely."

The next night, Santana asked Brittany to meet her at her work. Brittany, Quinn, Rachel, and Mercedes all carpooled there at the desired time. When they walked in, Santana was on the stage sitting at the piano with the spotlight shining on her. Brittany walked closer curiously followed by the rest of the gang. Santana spotted the gang and nodded for one of the tech guys to turn on her mic.

"Hey everyone." Santana began. "So most of you know me as the bartender here but what you don't know is that I can sing. A couple months ago, my girlfriend, Brittany, lost her father and it's been a really hard and long road for her. In high school, I was apart of the Glee Club where I could express how I was feeling with music and that's what I want to do tonight." Santana locked eyes with Brittany who was now at the end of the stage. "Brittany, I love you so much. This is for you." The crowd applauded and awwed.

Santana began playing the piano.

_Be still and know that I'm with you_  
_Be still and know that I am here_  
_Be still and know that I'm with you_  
_Be still, be still, and know_

Brittany gulped as tears began brimming her eyes. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. Santana kept her passion filled eyes on her.

_When darkness comes upon you_  
_And covers you with fear and shame_  
_Be still and know that I'm with you_  
_And I will say your name_

_If terror falls upon your bed_  
_And sleep no longer comes_  
_Remember all the words I said_  
_Be still, be still, and know_

Tears began rolling down the blonde's cheeks. It was a mixture of comfort and sadness. On one hand, she wanted to cry like a baby in Santana's arm and the on the other she wanted to thank the brunette and never let her go from happiness. She wiped the tears on her face but they were quickly replaced with new ones.

_And when you go through the valley_  
_And the shadow comes down from the hill_  
_If morning never comes to be_  
_Be still, be still, be still_

Quinn placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder and leaned into her ear. "Are you okay?" Quinn asked. Brittany simply nodded.

_If you forget the way to go_  
_And lose where you came from_  
_If no one is standing beside you_  
_Be still and know I am_

_Be still and know that I'm with you_  
_Be still and know I am_

The song ended and the crowd erupted in applause. Santana wasted no time in jumping off the stage and pulling the weepy blonde into her arms. Brittany wrapped her arms around her waist clutching her as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I love you so much, baby. I'll always be here for you. I'll always protect you. I promise." The brunette whispered into Brittany's ear. "Are you okay, baby?" Santana felt her nod against her neck.

Brittany pulled back and kissed her girlfriend deeply on the lips. "I love you so much. Thank you." The blonde whispered against her lips. Santana smiled and then kissed her once more.

"Hi. Sorry to interrupt. Santana Lopez?" a man in a suit asked.

"The one and only." Santana said confidently.

"We've been looking for someone like you. Have you ever thought about singing professionally?"

"It's my dream."

"Forgive me. I'm Eric Henderson from Sony Records. Your girlfriend, Brittany, told me that I should give you a listen. She was right. We at Sony would love to have you."

"You did this?"

"What? You aren't the only one with surprises up her sleeve tonight." Brittany said matter of factly.

Santana's eyes welled up with tears. "I don't know what to say."

"Say yes." Eric stated.

"Yes! YES!"

Suddenly Santana noticed everyone standing around them when they all started clapping. Santana ran her fingers through her hair. Suddenly, Valerie started playing in the bar.

"How about you show me one more song?" Eric asked motioning to the stage where Mike was waiting.

"Baby, I can't believe this. Thank you! I couldn't have done this without you!" Santana said pulling Brittany close to her by her waist.

"I told you. You say the dream and I help build it. That's what a partnership is about. I love you, Santana."

"I love you, too." Santana pulled Brittany in for a kiss. Everyone awwed. "Oh my god. Is it possible to be this in love?" The Latina said after the kiss broke. Brittany smiled and pecked her lips.

"Come on. Let's do this." Brittany grabbed Santana pulling her to the stage.

**There's only one chapter left to sum up the story. I'm thinking of making a sequel to this following them on their journey together. Thoughts?**


End file.
